u/throwaway0915144

As many already know Joe bartolozzi is pretty fond of philosophy and has a Channel just for philosophy. And since this manga has some pretty deep or dark philosophy behind characters. We should start a petition to maybe get him to read it and review it on his philosophy channel. Or atleast get him to do it in some other way

Also this as only just now occurred to me and is definitely not a refined idea and doesn’t have much thought behind it other than “man it’d be pretty cool if he read and rated it”

I wonder if he did read it if there is already a video on it and I’ve just not seen it but if there isn’t I’d definitely love to see him rate and go over it In a video.

This is the best way I can describe this feeling and want of mine. I will stay anonymous and yes my grammar or wording will be bad I don’t care I’ll explain it better if you ask.

Also I don’t have current issues with inflicting pain upon one’s self or the permanent option but have in the past but gotten over it thankfully.

For a little bit now I’ve been feeling weird about a certain feeling/longing that I don’t want people I personally know to know. And some context is since like 2023-4 I’ve been watching anime my friends recommended me and eventually started watching my own and reading some manga. Now this isn’t so bad but I’ve always liked reading or watching ones where a character completely breaks down or is essentially mentally gone. Some recent to help are “goodnight punpun” “bloody railroads” “Maria no danzai” and others I didn’t catch the name of. But they all have something in common there are characters that are not correct in the head or completely insane and their life is like fading in and out of consciousness.

Or a blur so now this brings me to the bread and butter of this post of my longing to be not mentally correct or mentally there and life is a a blur. I’ve even liked the thought of being in hospital not essentially passing away but slowly going to that road. And eventually just being at peace with passing soon I guess. I’m not sure how to describe this bit past that so I’ll try to the other as I’m typing this with no clear direction. I guess I’m desiring a mental comatose state on one side or completely lost it on the other and am bouncing between both(?) I’m more asking what this could be I hope it’s not like a neet or other not that it’s bad In a sense I just don’t want to be one or something similar.

I hope this made some sort of sense I’ll try my best to respond to comments asking further and id like to know if anyone knows what it is I’m feeling.

TLDR:
I don’t want to be right in the head or really all there being mostly drifting in and out of life. And want to know what it is and get help if it is seen leading to serious problems.