u/throwaway750159422

I just want to preface and apologize because I just don’t have the energy to write more than I can. But does anyone else’s parent have an extreme amount of anxiety as the disease as processed, more specifically a ‘impending doom’ for just about anything?

My mother has ALWAYS had bad anxiety and OCD with fixating on things, but my god has it been 1000x incredibly worse than I could ever have imagined. And it just won’t stop. It’s something new every single day, like even if the problem is solved, something else is causing the impending doom within the next 5-20 minutes.

The biggest one example that hasn’t yet stopped, even though there’s new ones everyday, is that she watches the news so often and caught wind of a break-in midday in a neighboring suburb. Now it’s a panic that she is going to die when my dog makes any sound or even when the mailman comes. If I or my dad come inside, she at times goes into a panic attack. I don’t know what to do anymore. We’ve tried looking into agency’s for in home care, but I just can’t even function myself anymore…..nothing I do helps….im 24M and have been at home since 2020 Covid when I came back from college. I had just learned about my mom’s disease right before going to school and couldn’t live with myself not being there to help her as it progressed. I know I should move out and live my life…because there’s nothing I can truly do that feels helpful anymore….but yet I feel so guilty at the same time. Fuck this fucking disease. I’m sorry. I ran out of energy and nothing probably makes sense…who am I kidding. This probably is the only sub where any of this makes sense. Love y’all

I (M24) had my first hinge date after a few weeks of talking with a super sweet girl (F21), we have a ton in common and have already had a second date. The only thing that’s rubbing me wrong is even though we talked so much before the date, and both agreed it felt like we’ve known each other for months, she’s acting like that is really the case in person and currently , when ive explained im not totally sure what i am wanting. I did answer her asking if we were exclusive, that I am never seeing more than one person at a time, but I told her I wasn’t sure if I was able to be in a relationship. It’s really hard because I went on hinge after having only crappy relationships, and this girl is an insane catch. But for some reason my head is telling me that I can’t commit…or that im scared to commit.

Part of it is that I am so used to being on the other side of the stick. My last SO’s had me essentially wrapped around their finger, and I think they loved it especially for that chase factor. Now that I feel I have her wrapped around my finger (almost unwantingly), I almost hate how it feels. I don’t hate being with her at all. I just hate feeling like she might be way more into me than I am into her, and it’s hurting because I did want to take things slow and see where it goes. But it does seem like she’s already made her mind up to some degree. I know some should say I’m lucky, or just enjoy it, but I can’t help but be so anxious that I’m going to lose this girl just because I am wanting to see where it goes….learn even more about her after only 2 dates…..part of me won’t live with it I think if I end it because I just don’t want to hurt her more than I have to. She is probably the sweetest girl ive ever met and im so anxious that if it goes on, and I somehow decide it’s not a great fit by some means, im going to hurt her even more than right now. Because she wants something confirmed or serious, even if she’s said to me it’s okay if we aren’t boyfriend or girlfriend yet. This is my first real experience even at what feels like a non-toxic relationship, and I can’t even fathom if it’s just my brain/nervous system shutting down and protecting myself too. This is why I don’t date 😭

I (M24) had my first hinge date after a few weeks of talking with a super sweet girl, we have a ton in common and have already had a second date. The only thing that’s rubbing me wrong is even though we talked so much before the date, and both agreed it felt like we’ve known each other for months, she’s acting like that is really the case in person and currently , when ive explained im not totally sure what i am wanting. I did answer her asking if we were exclusive, that I am never seeing more than one person at a time, but I told her I wasn’t sure if I was able to be in a relationship. It’s really hard because I went on hinge after having only crappy relationships, and this girl is an insane catch. But for some reason my head is telling me that I can’t commit…or that im scared to commit.

Part of it is that I am so used to being on the other side of the stick. My last SO’s had me essentially wrapped around their finger, and I think they loved it especially for that chase factor. Now that I feel I have her wrapped around my finger (almost unwantingly), I almost hate how it feels. I don’t hate being with her at all. I just hate feeling like she might be way more into me than I am into her, and it’s hurting because I did want to take things slow and see where it goes. But it does seem like she’s already made her mind up to some degree. I know some should say I’m lucky, or just enjoy it, but I can’t help but be so anxious that I’m going to lose this girl just because I am wanting to see where it goes….learn even more about her after only 2 dates…..part of me won’t live with it I think if I end it because I just don’t want to hurt her more than I have to. She is probably the sweetest girl ive ever met and im so anxious that if it goes on, and I somehow decide it’s not a great fit by some means, im going to hurt her even more than right now. Because she wants something confirmed or serious, even if she’s said to me it’s okay if we aren’t boyfriend or girlfriend yet. This is my first real experience even at what feels like a non-toxic relationship, and I can’t even fathom if it’s just my brain/nervous system shutting down and protecting myself too. This is why I don’t date 😭