u/throwaway83727271

So I’m 26, my parents are amritdhari and I’ve been tying my beard with a rubber band for years. With that I’ve used fixos gels and hairsprays to set it. I’ve hated the glued on shiny chemically unnatural look that these products give, and it’s super uncomfortable. I also don’t want to keep a long beard.

I’ve been starting to line up the sides for a few months, and shortening the bottom. I also have been trimming the mustache as well. I’m still tying my beard and using some product to set it so it’s not super obvious that I cut my beard. The more I’ve cut it the less I’ve had to rely on products and thus the better my beard has been looking.

I want to make the full transition and stop tying my beard and have it naturally short and trim like most Sardars my age do nowadays. But i have a lot of anxiety about pissing off my parents. The reason I’ve gone so slow with this is so that it’s less of a shock. I’ve dropped hints over the last several months that I don’t enjoy keeping my beard. I would say I have much more freedom in general than I used to when I was younger. But I think I still have that deep rooted anxiety from when I was younger and they would get upset at me for certain things.

I know they want me to keep my beard and at the same time I think my parents have noticed that my beard has been cut and lined up a bit. I’m scared of ditching the rubber band and fully trimming it and what reaction it could cause.

I am applying for jobs several hours away, and I might be living away from home soon. Is that when it would be safest to ditch tying and cut it to a length I’m happy with? Has anyone else dealt with something similar?

PS I know trimming our beards is against Sikhi and as bad as trimming our joora. The point is I already cut my beard, and I acknowledge that it’s my bad for doing so. Therefore there’s no point in getting angry at me for my choice. Maybe one day I’ll decide to keep it, but I don’t want to for the time being.

So I'm 26, my parents are amritdhari and I've been tying my beard with a rubber band for years. With that l've used fixos gels and hairsprays to set it. I've hated the glued on shiny chemically unnatural look that these products give, and it's super uncomfortable. I also don't want to keep a long beard.
I've been starting to line up the sides for a few months, and shortening the bottom. I also have been trimming the mustache as well. I'm still tying my beard and using some product to set it so it's not super obvious that I cut my beard. The more I've cut it the less I've had to rely on products and thus the better my beard has been looking.

I want to make the full transition and stop tying my beard and have it naturally short and trim like most Sardars my age do nowadays. But i have a lot of anxiety about pissing off my parents. The reason I've gone so slow with this is so that it's less of a shock. I've dropped hints over the last several months that I don't enjoy keeping my beard. I would say I have much more freedom in general than I used to when I was younger. But I think I still have that deep rooted anxiety from when I was younger and they would get upset at me for certain things.

I know they want me to keep my beard and at the same time I think my parents have noticed that my beard has been cut and lined up a bit. I'm scared of ditching the rubber band and fully trimming it and what reaction it could cause.
I am applying for jobs several hours away, and I might be living away from home soon. Is that when it would be safest to ditch tying and cut it to a length I'm happy with? Has anyone else dealt with something similar?

PS I know trimming our beards is against Sikhi and as bad as trimming our joora. The point is I already cut my beard, and I acknowledge that it's my bad for doing so. Therefore there's no point in getting angry at me for my choice. Maybe one day I'II decide to keep it, but I don't want to for the time being.

So I’m 26, my parents are amritdhari and I’ve been tying my beard with a rubber band for years. With that I’ve used fixos gels and hairsprays to set it. I’ve hated the glued on shiny chemically unnatural look that these products give, and it’s super uncomfortable. I also don’t want to keep a long beard.

I’ve been starting to line up the sides for a few months, and shortening the bottom. I also have been trimming the mustache as well. I’m still tying my beard and using some product to set it so it’s not super obvious that I cut my beard. The more I’ve cut it the less I’ve had to rely on products and thus the better my beard has been looking.

I want to make the full transition and stop tying my beard and have it naturally short and trim like most Sardars my age do nowadays. But i have a lot of anxiety about pissing off my parents. The reason I’ve gone so slow with this is so that it’s less of a shock. I’ve dropped hints over the last several months that I don’t enjoy keeping my beard. I would say I have much more freedom in general than I used to when I was younger. But I think I still have that deep rooted anxiety from when I was younger and they would get upset at me for certain things.

I know they want me to keep my beard and at the same time I think my parents have noticed that my beard has been cut and lined up a bit. I’m scared of ditching the rubber band and fully trimming it and what reaction it could cause.

I am applying for jobs several hours away, and I might be living away from home soon. Is that when it would be safest to ditch tying and cut it to a length I’m happy with? Has anyone else dealt with something similar?

PS I know trimming our beards is against Sikhi and as bad as trimming our joora. The point is I already cut my hair, and I acknowledge that it’s my bad for doing so. Therefore there’s no point in getting angry at me for my choice. Maybe one day I’ll decide to keep it, but I don’t want to for the time being.