i feel like a hare pretending to be a bunny
i suppose what i mean is...i've always felt like i'm somehow different from my female peers. not in a way that made me feel superior, but inferior.
my entire life, navigating social interactions has left me feeling like the same little girl that sat alone at recess.
i deeply crave healthy, fulfilling female friendships, but i can never seem to reach any level of importance in the lives of those around me.
i have always been on the outside, like there's some invisible barrier between me and everyone around me.
i feel like i'm acting constantly. putting on a show of normalcy. but i think i'm truly just awkward and uncomfortable to be around.
unpleasant, unfunny, uninteresting.
i try to put myself out there all the time, and i'm never met halfway.
how do i grow out of my ugly duckling stage at 27?
edit to add: many of you have suggested neurodivergence. i took the RAADS-R assessment online for free and received a score of 140 out of 240. i'm having trouble understanding this. i mean, the results speak for themselves i suppose. i'm just...lost. i'd never truly considered this before.