u/tigoleyiddies

Basically, I am a first year radiography student almost at the end of the year. I have 2 exams and 2 essays to resit in August aswell as 4 weeks of placement. I only owe this much time and work back as I thought I was going to drop out in January,didn’t do any work butthen changed my mind and decided to stay.

One of my options is passing all my resits, completing first year and gaining an Exit Award in Diagnostic Imaging, just so I have some sort of qualification, and then dropping out. I think I can become a Radiography Assistant with this diploma if I ever need a job. Or is it really worth pushing through and complete the whole degree? In all honesty, I am mainly only doing this course as a “back up” and safety net. This course is competitive and I feel immensely privileged and ungrateful to be here :( I am not even passionate about radiography and I definitely don’t see myself working fulltime long-term in the future. Maybe for 1 or two years just to have some experience if i do end up qualifying.

Or should I just finish first year and quit, since the state of the job market is abysmal. I keep getting distracted by money and not putting in enough effort into the course as I should be. But i’m also a bit conflicted as I would make more money doing my current job full time for 5 years than I would earn being a full-time radiographer for 23 years. There is no guarantee of a Band 5 job anyway. Even my ambitions of becoming a sonographer were crushed once a Radiographer on placement told me she’s been applying for a training post for seven years and still can’t get in. I am very conflicted and anxious about the future. I don’t worry about money at the moment, since my side hustle earns me a lot of money right now. But it is a job that has high burn out, and not really something, I will be able/want to do in my 40’s and 50. I want to be smart, I do want a safety net for when I am old, but I am unsure if Radiography should be that lifeline.

I am a 20 year old female and had the groundbreaking obvious realisation today as I am studying for my exam that I am definitely going to fail: If i were a man, I would be homeless. Or work at McDonalds at the very least. I am a fuck up in almost every sense. I have severe ADHD and on the verge of being kicked out of university. My lecturers and support team are extremely kind and bend over backwards to try and accommodate me. I had the realisation, they are probably only this nice and sympathetic because I am a girl and I cried in the support meeting we had (lol). If I were a man, I would be seen as lazy, a waste of time and not trying enough. Hell the only reason I am even able to afford uni is because I am an escort and have an only fans. If i were a man, I would probably be broke asf and have to work part time at burger king😭.

I’m even considering dropping out of uni and escorting fulltime to save up enough to buy a house and start my own business. That’s hundreds of thousands of pounds I am able to earn just on the basis of being a semi attractive woman. For the time being while I am still young atleast, I will always be able to fall back on my looks. Even if i dont want to, it’s somewhat of a fucked up safety net. Men don’t have that option. It’s either hustle or drown. Hats off to you guys honestly. I couldn’t cope with it all. I guess this is why the male suicide rate is sadly so high. Especially NEURODIVERGENT men I really feel for you.

My life has been very difficult compared to the average person and I struggle a lot already with my ADHD and general life stuff but atleast I am ever so slightly sheltered from the cold brutality of life. Being an attractive woman is a double edged sword with cons of course but also immense privilege. How do you find the motivation to get up everyday?