u/timid_pink_angel02

I had anorexia for 8 years before developing BED for the last 3-4 years.

I had already accepted that I would likely have an ED for the rest of my life, considering I have now lived half of my life with one. But I always thought that would be anorexia. I never expected it to turn to BED.

There's something so painful about having BED after anorexia. I still have the same fears I had during anorexia - namely the weight gain and the issues I have with body image - but unlike when I had anorexia, those fears are no longer strong enough for me to be "in control" of food. In fact, I'm actively doing things (i.e. binge eating) that actively makes those fears a reality.

I'm just so tired, and this feels so, so heavy. When I had anorexia, people could see the physical manifestation of how much pain I was in. Now, they tell me that binge eating is "a good thing" or that it's just "what my body needs". They don't truly understand with binge eating is, and how it's destroying me more than anorexia ever did - physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, socially.

(Just to clarify, I don't mean that having BED after anorexia is more painful than developing BED without having had anorexia. One isn't more painful or harder than the other)

I had anorexia for 8 years before developing BED for the last 3-4 years.

I had already accepted that I would likely have an ED for the rest of my life, considering I have now lived half of my life with one. But I always thought that would be anorexia. I never expected it to turn to BED.

There's something so painful about having BED after anorexia. I still have the same fears I had during anorexia - namely the weight gain and the issues I have with body image - but unlike when I had anorexia, those fears are no longer strong enough for me to be "in control" of food. In fact, I'm actively doing things (i.e. binge eating) that actively makes those fears a reality.

I'm just so tired, and this feels so, so heavy. When I had anorexia, people could see the physical manifestation of how much pain I was in. Now, they tell me that binge eating is "a good thing" or that it's just "what my body needs". They don't truly understand with binge eating is, and how it's destroying me more than anorexia ever did - physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, socially.

(Just to clarify, I don't mean that having BED after anorexia is more painful than developing BED without having had anorexia. One isn't more painful or harder than the other)

I've been debating on whether to read/listen to this for a while, but I'm stupidly sensitive so I wanted to ask - how is this book going to make me feel towards the end?

I'm typically a HEA book only girl (which i dont expect this book to be based on the description/reviews) but i can also handle bittersweet endings. Just not tragic endings or those that make you feel empty.

Can anyone give me a sense of what the ending is like without spoilers?

I think the lack of fruit and veg in my diet has finally caught up to me.

I'm so, so tired of this illness. It's destroying me more than anorexia ever did.