u/tony9849g

For years I mostly watched Hollywood movies it took me a long time to realize that my real taste isn’t action or adventure it’s psychological thrillers, mystery, suspense, and horror

Then I discovered Korean cinema and it completely changed my expectations out of every 10 Korean thrillers I watch I end up loving about 8 So many of them are unforgettable and gave me a completely new experience

Now I’ve started exploring Japanese cinema and I’m finding some incredible films there too

I’m curious has another country’s film industry ever changed your taste in movies? And what are some unforgettable films you’d recommend?

My top movie at I fucking love
Korean list

1. The call
2. Oldboy
3. The chaser
   4.the confession of murder
4. Incantation( Chinese movie but 🥶)
   Japanese I am still exploring
5. Noroi the curse
6. Pulse
7. Cure

On one side, there are times when I genuinely feel disconnected from people. Not because I hate them, but because I often feel like nobody would fully understand what’s going on inside my head. In those moments, Kafka’s words make sense to me.

But at the same time, I deeply relate to the Dostoevsky quote. I want at least one person with whom I can talk about everything. Not just daily events, but thoughts, fears, dreams, contradictions, strange ideas, and the conversations I already have with myself.

Sometimes loneliness hits me hard. Not all the time. There are days when I’m completely fine. I spend time with my family, focus on my work, watch movies, learn new things, and genuinely enjoy being by myself.

But then there are moments when loneliness returns. During those times, I find myself messaging random people on Discord, HelloTalk, or other apps. Not because I have something important to say, but because I want connection. Maybe attention. Maybe understanding. Sometimes I end up asking for Instagram IDs or trying to continue the conversation somewhere else.

Yet most of the time, none of it really resolves the feeling. The conversation ends, people disappear, and eventually I go back to focusing on myself again.

What confuses me is that both feelings exist at the same time. I value my solitude, but I also crave deep connection. I enjoy being alone, but sometimes I wish there were one person I could talk to about everything.

Do you think Kafka and Dostoevsky are describing two different states of mind, or two sides of the same person?

And does anyone else experience this cycle of being content alone, then suddenly feeling the need to reach out to strangers just to feel connected?

Hmm at first I don’t know what introvert means I always thought it mean that a person who doesn’t get socially active who avoid interaction who just afraid to talk, afraid of embarrassment, insults or have less confidence

These all traits are in me so I thought I am introvert.

So when I were alone at home when I have free I got interested into philosophies and I start avoiding normal interactions I just stay alone because I kept myself in an illusion

What illusion

I kept telling myself I didn’t care about people That I was an introvert That I didn’t need to talk That I was fine alone But that wasn’t true

Whenever I talked to people, I noticed two things most people didn’t seem interested in me ,conversations ended quickly or felt forced

and that hurt

Instead of learning how to talk better, how to connect, how to be socially active, I chose an easier story I told myself that I’m an introvert ,I don’t need validation ,I don’t care if people talk to me or not

But inside, I did care I wanted to be seen I wanted people to talk to me I wanted connection

So I didn’t work on my social skills I worked on something else I worked on how to feel nothing How to not react when no one talks to me How to act like silence doesn’t bother me.

How to pretend rejection doesn’t hurt That’s where the illusion started I confused avoidance with strength Numbness with maturity Silence with depth I wasn’t an introvert.

A real introvert doesn’t want to talk I did want to talk.

I was just afraid of awkward silence,embarrassment,being ignored,saying the wrong thing So instead of facing those fears, I tried to erase the desire itself

That’s why nothing changed That’s why I stayed on the same level for years You can’t grow while lying to yourself I broke the illusion when I asked myself one honest question

“What do I actually want?”

And the answer was clear

I don’t want to feel nothing.

I want to be able to talk freely I want to face discomfort, not hide from it.

David Goggins showed me that avoiding pain keeps you weak,Miyamoto Musashi showed me that discipline means facing what you avoid That’s when I realized it This whole time, I wasn’t stuck I was hiding.

This whole time, I was living in an illusion

The moment I realized it, things became clear.

I finally understood what I actually want, and I started working toward that instead of running from it

The reason I’m sharing this story is simple

Sometimes we don’t grow not because we’re lazy or broken, but because we never stop and ask ourselves one honest question

What do I really want?

Instead, we copy identities that sound strong,adopt labels that protect us,blame circumstances or people,turn confusion into philosophy and then we wonder why we’re unhappy Why we feel stuck Why we keep questioning ourselves and hating ourselves.

I’m sharing this as I go, not because I have answers, but because I finally stopped lying to myselfI’ll keep sharing the progress the mistakes, the realizations, the uncomfortable parts If this helps you reflect on yourself even a little, that’s enough.

If you have thoughts or experiences like this, share them.

Stay hard.