I feel like I’m ruining my future
I feel like every second of my life I’m ruining and I don’t know what to do anymore. I want to care and be happy and be with friends and hang out more but I just never have motivation other than to lay in bed and do nothing. Just giving excuses and ignoring responsibilities. I thought it was nothing at first, that I’m just lazy but the more I do it, the harder it is to stop. I’ve been trying to get some help and some might say that I’m still so young and no way my life would ruined by these simple mistakes. But it feels like it, like I know it too. I want to do and be more but I feel like I can’t even vent or tell anyone that’s really close to me because I’m scared of what they’d say. They’re frustrated with me and I get it, I’m frustrated with myself too but it’s so hard to just do something and it looks so simple and easy but yet it’s so hard. My GPA is horrible and I’m probably not going to get into any of the colleges I want because I can’t even get out of bed most days to go to school and get educated. I’m trying slowly this year to get help from those who I can and aren’t as close with me but I can’t keep contact. And now people close to me and worried and I’m worried but not as much as I should be and that’s worse to me. I told myself this year would be different and I would come up and do what had to be done but obviously, I’ve just been making a fool of myself and setting higher expectations. Maybe I should tell them soon, before it really is too late.