AITAH for asking my husband for a few minutes after I wake up to be reminded on the task(s) for the day?
I (31F) woke up this morning and was met by my husband (33M) while I was on the toilet. I had barely opened my eyes. He walked in and told me a task we need to do at some point today.
I let out a brief sigh and I took a sec to take another breath instead of react out of emotions and think about my words. I calmly then said, “I don’t like being told what I need to do right when I wake up. Can we find a better way to tell me things like this in the morning? I just need like 5 minutes.”
I thought I was careful with my words AND tone.
He took offense to that and said, “Oh so I can’t talk to you in the morning and tell you what needs to be done?” And I, still calmly, said “no, you can, I just need a few minutes before being told what I need to do today.”
He didn’t take that well either which turned into the situation I was trying to avoid (bad moods on both parts).
He’s upset and I’m emotional at this point. He’s giving me attitude and being negative altogether.
I feel like I wasn’t and still am not being heard that I just want a few minutes to open my eyes and stabilize myself before stressing on things that need to be done.
I think this all could have been avoided if I had the chance to wake up and gather myself and my thoughts.
He knows I’m not a morning person by nature and we’ve been through similar situations before. What was different this time was my effort to stop myself from throwing shade immediately and calmly express a simple boundary I was trying to establish. I didn’t throw my hands up, I didn’t scoff or storm off.
We tried coming back to the conversation more than once afterwards and were still not seeing eye to eye on the situation.
He believes I threw a bunch of attitude at him and thats what got him upset and gave him an attitude. When I believe his reaction at my, what I thought was a reasonable, request to wake up before stressing on the day was disproportionate and escalated the tension.
I’m literally just trying to help us avoid the sour mood our morning devolved into. Like the saying goes, “help me, help you”.
Things sort of came to a head as we both felt disrespected.
Now, I’m laying in bed, contemplating going back to sleep for a little, while he completes said task WE need to do without me. (Mutual decision)
So, AITA for asking my husband for a few minutes after I wake up to be reminded on the task(s) for the day?