u/trapped_terrain

Why do people act as if hard work is the only metric for success? I don't believe everything can be reduced to a binary rule. There are numerous other factors that often compound over time and go unnoticed, things like brain chemistry, mental health, emotional regulation, and tolerance for delayed gratification.

Why do we ignore these factors and simply label someone as "lazy" when they don't succeed? Is it because we believe we live in a fair world? Or is it because we assume that these factors don't really matter?

Religious people say that the ultimate salvation for any soul is moksha, where the soul is freed from the cycle of birth and death and escapes the physical world. But the same people also say that you have "pitra rin" and that you need to have children to pay off the debt owed to your ancestors. Isn't that contradictory?

Every other day, I hear news about crimes against women. The world is becoming more and more unsafe with each passing day, and I'm constantly worried about the women in my life.

Taking all of this into account, I think it would be incredibly immoral, for me personally, to bring a child into this world. On top of that, climate change and global warming are wreaking havoc across the world. Diseases and mental health issues have also become commonplace.

I don't know if I'm reading too much into it, but does anyone else feel the same way?

Every time I talk to a parent or someone who wants to have children in the future, they only talk about how much they want to experience parenthood, how much joy and happiness their child will bring into their lives, and so on. Almost nobody seems to think about the potential suffering their child might go through. Their response is almost always emotionally driven, but if you examine it carefully and analyze it logically, it falls apart.

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Isn't this a very self-centered view? How can someone claim to love their child unconditionally yet choose to bring them into a world filled with so many problems and difficulties? It has never made sense to me.

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Weddings often involve a number of religious and patriarchal traditions, at least from what I've observed. Did you choose to have a secular wedding? If so, how did you go about it?

And for those who are planning to get married in the future, do you intend to celebrate your wedding in the traditional way, or would you prefer something different?

It is honestly weird to see that, most of the time, men are the ones who object whenever I bring up the idea that the romanticization of pregnancy as the sole purpose of a woman is inherently patriarchal because it reduces women's bodies to mere vessels for the continuation of men's lineage. Even in feminist online spaces, most people who oppose this idea are men.

Not only that, but if you visit any online space that supports the 4B movement or antinatalism, men are usually the first and most vocal to oppose it.

Everyone should have the right to decide for themselves, autonomy over body is a human right. You can't coerce others to do what you want.

Theists and religious people often say that God is all-loving, all-kind, and omnipotent. For the sake of argument, I can accept that financial hardship, struggles in life, and similar problems may be man-made. But how do you justify the existence of diseases and conditions like prion diseases and cancer, which are inherent parts of human existence? How can you claim that God does everything for the well-being of humanity when such suffering exists? I find this ideology difficult to believe.

Every single day, I read about crimes against women in the news. It feels like people have normalized it at this point, as if it's just another story that will always be tucked away in some corner of the newspaper. I don't see much outrage against either the authorities who fail to protect women or the men who commit such heinous crimes.

After the recent "370 biryani" remarks and the audience laughing at them, I have lost the last bit of hope I had in this society. I'm always worried about my female family members and friends because of this rotten and failed system. I've decided never to bring a child into this world, lest I have a daughter who would have to face all the horrors of this world filled with monsters.

I've seen many people who say that they're both religious and feminist, but both can't be true at once. You can't keep encouraging an institution that has oppressed women for centuries and, at the same time, claim that you stand up for women's rights. That's simply not possible.

I also see many of these people trying to rationalize and justify misogynistic practices by giving strange reasons. Once, I was talking to a friend and asked him why women touch the feet of men, but the reverse rarely happens. He told me it's because, for most of history, men were the providers. I don't understand that logic. What if the man provided? Wasn't it his duty to provide for the woman he married and who would continue his lineage? Why is a husband's duty seen as a favor?

I grew up watching such patriarchal practices. I'd see my mom touching my dad's feet and keeping fasts for him, but my dad never did anything similar for her. I was conditioned to believe that this was how a relationship between a man and a woman was supposed to be, as my mom would often tell me that my dad was like a god to her. As I grew up and began to question these things, I came to understand how brainwashing and social conditioning can keep oppressive systems functioning.

I read the following quote by Arthur Schopenhauer recently:

> If children were brought into the world by an act of pure reason alone, would the human race continue to exist? Would not a man rather have so much sympathy with the coming generation as to spare it the burden of existence, or at any rate not take it upon himself to impose that burden upon it in cold blood?

I then started wondering what is the point of all this. In the end, I'm here only for a very short period of time compared to the grand scheme of things. The average lifespan of humans is around 70 to 80 years depending upon the country, whereas the universe has existed for billions of years.

Is it our egocentrism that makes us believe that we are important and that we all have a grand purpose in our lives?

Isn't it unfair to impose the burden of the fear of death, diseases, etc upon another person just to fulfill societal needs?

You often hear religious people say things like, "You succeeded only because God helped you" or "You succeeded because that's what God wanted." But as soon as you fail, the blame shifts entirely onto you: "You didn't work hard enough" or "You didn't do this or that." What kind of logic is this? If their God is all-powerful and all-knowing, why doesn't He also get the blame for failures?

Marriage is the most patriarchal institution ever. It is only beneficial for men in most cases because they get someone to look after their parents and manage household activities. I don't see any way in which a woman would find it helpful. Most practices related to marriage are highly regressive and patriarchal too.

As a kid, when my aunt got married, I always wondered why only the woman's family cried during the vidaai. However, as I gradually began to understand things while growing up, I realized that it is because the woman is treated as "someone else's property", yes, property, because what else do they mean by paraya dhan?

Also, I frequently observed my mother and other women in my family keeping fasts for their husbands and touching their husbands' feet. I once asked my mom why only women do this and not men. She told me that it is because husbands are like God to their wives. That was the moment I realized how deep the societal conditioning is and how it manifests in real life on a day-to-day basis. It has become so common that we see these things as normal rather than as something that needs to be questioned.

Don't get me started on pregnancy and childbirth. I've heard many people say that a woman must shift to her mother's place during her first pregnancy, but as soon as the child is born, the in-laws are the first to jump in and claim that their family has been extended. Even after the woman has gone through nine months of intense, grueling pain, if a girl is born, these narcissistic people say they wish a boy had been born to continue their lineage.

I've often observed in many families, including my own, how some women internalize patriarchy and misogyny and continue the same vicious cycle that they were once a part of. It is very sad because these same women were oppressed by the very system they now help perpetuate. Over time, their mindset and way of thinking become set in stone because they were never allowed to think differently.

We had a housemaid who was frequently verbally and physically abused by her drunkard husband. Sometimes, she would come to our house and sleep on the terrace. We even encouraged her to separate from him, but she would say, "He's my husband. He provides for me, and he is like a God to me. How can I leave him?" She had already accepted the abuse as normal and believed that she was somehow responsible for it.

Patriarchy also manifests itself in subtle ways that we often overlook as "normal." Once, my uncle was making rotis in the kitchen when my aunt walked in and told him, "Men shouldn't be in the kitchen. Let me do it." I've seen similar attitudes in many families. Women, even young girls, are often told things like, "Learn how to cook and wash clothes. How else will you survive at your in-laws' house?" Imagine that, instead of encouraging women to pursue their own dreams, society imposes such expectations on them. It often feels as though society views women primarily as mothers, wives, or daughters rather than as independent individuals capable of making their own choices.

I bought a Samsung Tab S10 Lite last year for note-taking. Shortly after getting it, I put a screen protector on it. I primarily use it for taking notes and watching videos.

My S Pen nib started wearing down in February. I continued using it despite the scratchy feeling, but in March I decided to visit a nearby Samsung Service Centre to have the nib replaced. The employee told me that since I had a 6-month warranty, I could choose to replace the entire S Pen instead, so I agreed.

Now, after using the new S Pen for a few months, the nib has started wearing down again. Back in March, I asked the employee whether the screen protector was causing the nib to wear out, and he said no. The note-taking experience has become very unpleasant, and writing feels extremely scratchy.

What should I do?

I bought a Samsung Tab S10 Lite last year for note-taking. Shortly after getting it, I put a screen protector on it. I primarily use it for taking notes and watching videos.

My S Pen nib started wearing down in February. I continued using it despite the scratchy feeling, but in March I decided to visit a nearby Samsung Service Centre to have the nib replaced. The employee told me that since I had a 6-month warranty, I could choose to replace the entire S Pen instead, so I agreed.

Now, after using the new S Pen for about a month, the nib has started wearing down again. Back in March, I asked the employee whether the screen protector was causing the nib to wear out, and he said no. The note-taking experience has become very unpleasant, and writing feels extremely scratchy.

What should I do?

I've observed that in many families, whenever a girl is diagnosed with PCOS or any other condition, the first concern is always, "What if she can't conceive in the future?" Instead of caring about her health and well-being, people seem obsessed with her fertility and reproductive life.

I've even heard people say things like, "She got a scar on her face, what will happen to her future marriage prospects?" Like, what the hell? Are we really reducing an entire woman's worth to this?

And these families aren't just uneducated or rural families. Many of them are rich, educated, and urban as well. Why can't people simply see women as human beings instead of as lifelong responsibilities that need to be "settled" through marriage, or as reproductive vessels whose purpose is to continue a man's lineage?

These patriarchal and misogynistic attitudes are so deeply embedded in society that many people never even stop to question them.

As a kid, I was always told that touching the feet of older people is a sign of respect and that you must always touch your parents' and teachers' feet every day so that God would be pleased with you. But now that I see things from a rational perspective, I realize how subservient this practice was. Even women are taught to touch the feet of their husbands as if they are inferior to them.

I had to touch the feet of relatives whom I had never met before in my life, and of my parents' friends with whom I had no connection. I was expected to treat all these people with the utmost respect just because they were older than me. It never made any sense to me. Why should we respect people just because they are older than us?

People say that "God helps those who help themselves," but I find this quote to be very weird for some reason. Like, if I work towards a goal and make conscious efforts to achieve it, then it was me who did the job, yet these people say that God helps those who help themselves. If you fail, then it's completely your fault, and God had no role to play in it.

I don't understand. If I work hard for something and achieve it, then the credit is completely mine. If another person came and took the credit, I'd be offended. Help is something you do when the other person is unable to do something. If the other person is doing everything, then it isn't help, it's just spectating.

Pregnancy is probably one of the most painful things a human can ever go through, yet people act like it's just another part of life. People, especially in-laws, act like having kids is as routine as cooking dinner. As soon as a woman gets married, the pressure starts mounting within months, with weird innuendos like, "When are you going to share the good news?" or "When are we going to play with our grandkids?"

Nobody stops for a moment to think about how risky pregnancy is. A woman can literally die during pregnancy, yet many people still think it is a woman's duty to have children for the continuation of their so-called lineage and legacy. Don't men and in-laws feel bad while putting this kind of pressure on a woman? I can never imagine putting a woman through such a perilous situation.

In popular culture, love is portrayed as a powerful force that can turn the world upside down. Even in movies, you often hear dialogues like, “I’d go against the world for you” or “Love is blind,” as if love is some infallible boon that is ethereal and divine. Whereas, in reality, if you strip away all the layers, at its core, love is just a means for the body to facilitate reproduction by producing hormones like oxytocin and dopamine.

On the other hand, society romanticizes marriage as if it is something divine. You often hear people say, “This bond is for seven lifetimes,” but I’ve also seen plenty of failed marriages, which suggests that marriage is not a solution to everything in life. In fact, it can add more burdens and responsibilities as well. I once read somewhere that even the desperation for marriage can be a manifestation of sexual desperation, though that may be a controversial take.

Portraying love and marriage as divine are just ways for the society to hide the biological reality behind it, I believe.

What are your thoughts on this? Are marriage and love truly divine, or is it just society that makes them appear that way?