Problems of a country bumpkin
Hi everyone .
I'm 47 and have been a mechanic for 30 years . I grew up on a 250 acre 3rd generation horse farm a few hours outside of Nashville Tn.
My whole life I was under the assumption that when my father passed my sister and I would inherit the estate .
Well when I was 17 my dad made some very poor financial decisions and long story short he lost the farm , the house , the property , the heirlooms , everything..
When we lost the farm i had to decide what I was going to to . I attended tech. School and got a degree and like I said have worked very hard my whole life as a auto tech.
Every payday I would put back 20% into my savings. It was hard . I did without a lot for years , living below my means , pinching and saving . Flats of tuna and Ramon noodles for many meals .
In 2018 I finally had enough saved up to purchase some raw land in a nearby county . I bought an 8 acre wooded lot , moved out here with my then fiance in a bus motorcoach I had built years ago as a project and started developing the homestead .
2 years ago my then fiance admitted to me that she has been cheating on me with a guy she was working with . I kicked her out, unreconcilable... once a cheater always a cheater .Since we weren't married yet she has no ties with my place thankfully so now I'm just doing this solo .
So there is not alot of places to work around here where I'm at .
I was kind of hoping I could get back into agriculture related work Since I have a little land now . I've tried my hand at selling produce and nursery stock, split firewood ,but its hardly worth the time . Trying to sell produce and firewood to people living in the country is like trying to sell ice to eskimos , trucking it into the city would eat any profits so i just produce for myself now . I was commuting into Nashville everyday to work because the local shops just don't pay squat .
But with traffic being the problem it is , i was commuting 4 hours every day round-trip to work. I just couldnt handle it anymore . Id get home around 7pm , take care of my dogs and make myself dinner then usually pass out on the couch , showerless . Because i was literally too tired to shower .wake up at 5 and do it again and again until the weekend then I'd spend my whole weekend trying to catchup on everything else and chores . No time for friends or dating or relaxing at all .
All the farm chores were getting neglected because i was simply wiped out all the time , physically and mentally tapped out .
I couldnt take it anymore , trying to find another job with a schedule like that is almost impossible . So i put in my 2 weeks and now im unemployeed.
After a month of recovering from that hell , getting caughtup on homestead chores that ive been putting off . I finally feel like a human again
I do have some savings put back to live on until i can figure it out but with the economy the way it is ill be burning through that money before long . Ive been looking for a job closer to me but cant find much because of the horrible economy . Nobodys hiring it seems and if they are they try to get you to work for peanuts .
It's not that I'm in dire straits yet, I'm just at this point where it's like what am I doing with my life . I've decided to hang up my career as a mechanic . It's a rough job , stressful and I've pretty much used up my body . Joint pain and arthritis have already hit me pretty early and crouching under a hood for hours everyday does not help it .
My dream was to build my homestead and ease into retirement doing some sort of small scale agriculture with the woman I loved but everything's changed now.
I realize a lot of people would kill to be in my position and I do feel blessed everyday but somethings just not aligning .
I need money to progress my farm , but if I can't make money farming I have to work outside to fund it . If I'm working all the time I don't have time/energy to work on the farm .
It was easier when she was here because we would split chores and 2 incomes helped alot . Now I'm just struggling , adrift , the vision is becoming blurry in the distance like a small island out at sea.
Everything cost so much nowdays its a real struggle to try to make much progress . I refuse to go into debt in the process though because I've been debt free my whole life and I don't wanna ruin my track record.
I feel so lost right now , I really need some good advise . Please and thank you .