u/turquoiseanswers

I have my own place and pay my own bills. I’m also 29 years old.

As a teenage girl I was heavily influenced by purity culture, going as far as promising to not kiss anyone until my wedding day.

That all changed for me when I got with my boyfriend at 27. But I don’t know how to talk about it with my parents, especially my mom.

We started having sleepovers at my place a few weeks ago. His car broke down and I live very close to his workplace, so it makes sense for him to just stay with me until it’s fixed.

Well today my mom asked where he sleeps while staying here. I said a bed. Then she asked where. And I said in my bedroom, with me.

It felt really invasive. As if she was trying to get me to admit or confess something.

I think she thought I was going to say he was on the couch. And I just feel so awkward now. Which is ridiculous considering I’m turning 30 next year.

I feel like a 16 year old who just got busted for rebelling. Two adults in a relationship of 18 months having a sleepover is normal. Sharing a bed with your loving partner is normal. But 16 year old me is still in the back of my head telling me I should be ashamed.

Is it insane for her to have asked me that? I don’t even know if she really cared, maybe she was just curious. I do remember her telling me to wait until marriage because of it being a “sin” but maybe her views have changed since then. I don’t know.

Why do I feel like I’m in trouble somehow? I feel insecure talking to her now, even though that’s silly and I have nothing to be ashamed of. I’m an adult in love with another adult. It’s normal. It’s healthy. But teenage me still feels weird. And I don’t know what to say if she asks for more details. I love her but sometimes she doesn’t understand boundaries.

We’ve been together for over a year. I own my own place and he lives at home with his parents.

Recently they’ve really been struggling financially and he has almost no savings. His car needs repairs and he’s trying to figure out how to do it himself without a mechanic. Their home has faulty wiring but they can’t afford to call an electrician. Now they’ve found termites in their house and I know that’s going to be extremely expensive to fix.

I grew up in severe poverty and know how miserable it is. I’ve been fortunate to find myself financially secure at this stage in my life, and know that I have the means to help him.

But how do I do that? Would it damage the relationship? What do I say when he tells me that he can’t afford repairs? It feels awkward since he knows I could just lend him the money. And I wouldn’t mind doing that.

Another thing is that I feel guilty spending money on fun stuff like clothes or concerts tickets and meanwhile he’s struggling to stay afloat. I want him to feel secure too and I know I can make that happen for him. I have the means to provide for us both but I don’t want to damage his pride or dignity. How do I navigate this? And how do I stop feeling guilty for spending my own money?

One more detail, he points out and makes comments on what I buy. Anything from my TV to laundry detergent, he asks why I didn’t just buy the cheaper one, even if that means lower quality. I feel guilty spending my own money in my own home. But I totally get where he’s coming from. I think he just takes it a little too far sometimes.

I’m 29F. I started Hailey Fe 1/20 (21 active/7 placebo) back in January 2025 and like clockwork always get my withdrawal bleed on day 2 of my placebo week. It usually lasts 3-5 days and mimics a regular period. I know it doesn’t affect pregnancy risk but I typically go ahead and take my placebo pill at 10am just to stay in the habit with taking my pill on time.

This month for the first time I decided to skip my placebo pills and just not take anything for 7 days before resuming active pills. I figured my withdrawal bleed would come like always on day 2 of that.

It’s now day 7 and I’m still not bleeding. I know the placebo pills are just iron supplements, but could not taking them have somehow sent my body out of whack to not bleed? Like could my body associate the extra iron with the start of a withdrawal bleed?

I feel silly asking but I can’t think of why else this month I’d all of a sudden stop having a lining to shed when I usually bleed for at least a few days, but this time had nothing at all.

I don’t think I’m pregnant because I’ve only been with my boyfriend once this month and I religiously take my active pills at 10am every single day. The only thing I’ve done differently this time was not take anything during placebo week.

Is this probably just a coincidence or could I have somehow tricked my body by not giving it the iron? I know it’s the drop in hormones that causes the bleeding but I’m wondering if the missing iron has affected me at all.