u/turtlebeacht33

Do you guys think it’s better to shoot your shot pretty early after meeting someone you like at church, or let a friendship grow naturally first?

I’m a woman and I’ve had a couple of great conversations with a really cute guy at my new church. I’m debating whether it would be too much to kinda shoot my shot, e.g. send him a text? But I’m also wondering if it would be wiser to just keep seeing how things go and let him make a move.

What do you guys think?

Bit of a random one but just wanted to say that on my recent journey of deconstruction I actually had sex last night with someone I have been dating for the first time in 4 years (since becoming a Christian who was waiting until marriage). It still doesn’t feel real to say that we did it, but it was great (and that’s an understatement).
I am genuinely in shock at the fact that I don’t feel any guilt/shame/regret and, in fact, I want it even more!! Here’s to a healthy sex life 🥂.

I’m really starting to question whether I ever truly believed in Christianity, or whether I just surrounded myself with people who did.
I became a Christian almost 4 years ago in my early 20s after having a mental breakdown. Because of the environment I was raised in (very Christian mother, very Christian upbringing), Christianity felt like the natural thing to turn to during that time.

I recently moved to a new city and haven’t been to church for about a month. For the first time in years, I’ve had space to actually sit alone with my own thoughts and ask myself what I genuinely believe, without constantly hearing other people’s opinions around me.

The thing is, I’ve always struggled with parts of the Bible — miracles, children being killed, forgiveness of horrific things, people being taken into the sky, etc. But I never really allowed myself to challenge it because I already knew the type of responses I’d get from Christians around me.
Lately I haven’t been praying or reading my Bible consistently, and honestly… I feel fine? I know some Christians would say “well the devil doesn’t attack people who are already on his side” or something along those lines, but I don’t know anymore.

Another thing that’s been difficult is relationships. I keep meeting genuinely amazing men who aren’t Christian, and it’s exhausting feeling like I have to choose between connection/love and faith. I’m tired of feeling like God keeps placing good people in my life only for the answer to be “you can’t be with them.”

I feel really alone in this because my mum and sister are both very devout Christians, and most of my friends are too. I honestly don’t feel like I have anyone safe to talk to about this without being judged or “corrected.”

What makes this harder is that I do believe there’s probably something greater than us. I don’t personally think the universe and existence happened completely by chance. But I don’t know what I believe anymore. Maybe agnostic theist is the closest label?
I’ve looked into other religions too, but none of them feel right either. I’ve ruled out things like Islam and Buddhism (I don’t believe in reincarnation), and I’ve never connected with New Age spirituality either, even before Christianity.

I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else has gone through this? Especially people who came into Christianity later in life rather than growing up fully convinced.