u/udaretouchmyspaghett

My (22M) girlfriend (22F) suffers from trauma and depression. This has caused her to lead a really unhealthy life; she suffers insomnia, has really intense periods, she frequently peels her skin in anxiety and she does not eat much at all.

I think I have become her only source of comfort since we started our relationship. However, it is not sustainable for me. She sleeps really late while i sleep early as i naturally need more time to sleep. But, she frequently feels depressed and i often have to call her for a long time, sometimes till 2 or 3am. If i try to end the call, she'll get upset and ask me to stay, and ask me why i have to go.

I know she is not acting this way intentionally. I am okay with staying up late to support her once in a while. But, this happens very often and it just affects the my life. I need to study, i need to work and i need time for myself. If i try to explain this and set limits, she would say that she would make the sacrifice for me if i was ever in the same situation, and that she needs support because she feels extremely vulnerable. Subsequently, she may withdraw and that's not what i want at all.

What should I do? How do you live with our partner who has depression? How do you deal with caring for your partner, and for yourself at the same time?

I (21M) have a partner (20F) who suffers from severe trauma and has a toxic family. She frequently worries over the smallest issues and ideate about suicide.

I love her so much but I really do not know what to do. I don't want to always stay up on call reassuring her and telling her not to kill herself. I dont want to be scared that I'll wake up in the morning and not be able to talk to her again. I dont want to sacrifice so much of my life and sleep being there for her, because i want to focus on myself too. I love her a lot but its really scary and stressful.

What do I do? I love her and want to be with her, but i want to fulfil my dreams too, and im scared i wont be able to do so with her. Im scared and afraid of her disappearing too. I understand that shes struggling and i want the best for her. What can i do to help? Or what should i do in general?

My (21M) girlfriend (19F) is upset after I told her I get stressed by her issues too

My partner (20F) tends to worry a lot over everything - even minor things. She is currently studying in university and struggles over her academics, as well as working with some toxic course mates.

It's okay if it is once in a while, but I have to reassure her often. Each time I reassure her, it will take a few hours (mostly through calls), and I feel emotionally overwhelmed too, as it feels like a constant barrage of worries that I have to listen to.

I understand her feelings but each time I reassure her and provide an alternative perspective, or reasons for why she need not be worried, she'll justify her worry with more reasons. I understand that sometimes you need a listening ear rather than solutions, but it gets exhausting as the call will last really long and she will repeat a lot of her worries.

It's not that I don't care about her feelings, but it is just that it gets emotionally overwhelming sometimes. I need to sleep early and I have things to do, but these calls usually last into the midnight and affect my life.

I get that she's the one experiencing the stress and feelings, and I don't want her to experience those feelings. But - I mean this in the nicest way possible - I feel that some of the issues are things that she can regulate herself. As in, there are a lot of irrational worries she should trust herself rather than give in to the worries. Furthermore, I feel that she expects me to be there for her emotionally all the time. I mentioned that sometimes i get overwhelmed, and she said that I shouldn't feel that way as her partner.

Afterwards, she said she won't tell me about her issues anymore as she doesn't want me to be stressed. Obviously, I still want her to come to me if she's stressed, I just feel overwhelmed sometimes. How can I reassure her that I still want to be there for her?

TLDR: I told my partner, who worries a lot, that I get emotionally overwhelmed sometimes. She's hurt and says she won't tell me about her issues next time, which I don't want. What should I do?

I am interested in reading up on social contract theory and was wondering if there were any books providing a comprehensive overview (with some analysis) of the social contract theories?

​

I love my partner - she's affectionate and has everything i can ask for. However, the issue is that she gets upset when I can't stay up to talk to her.

For some context, she's a night owl and sleeps extremely late at around 3:30am. On the other hand, I'm an early sleeper who sleeps at around 11pm.

At the start of the relationship, we stayed up late for hours until 4am to talk. But, I realised that it was unsustainable as my obligations the next day would get affected and I would get headaches and feel exhausted. So, I have started trying to sleep earlier.

Whenever I bring up the need to sleep, she gets more curt. I can obviously tell that she's upset, which honestly stresses me out so much more. I have apologised and reassured her that i am unable to stay up late cause I'm tired and that i need to rest, not because I don't want to talk. However, she still gets upset and moody.

I'll talk to her today but i wanted to know if there's any advice from those who have faced a similar issue (contrasting sleeping schedule) before.

tl;dr Me (21 M) and my partner (19F) have completely different sleeping schedules. My partner wishes to talk at night but I'm unable to because I need to rest. As a result, she gets upset and I'm not sure what to do.