u/uncomfortablyhappily

After running out of insurance coverage with 2 IVF cycles, I’m considering going overseas. I did have success without IVF, ironically, but they ended in MMCs. Obviously cost is a major factor, but it seems like the medical technology and labs are better there too.

I’ve crunched the numbers and treatment overseas gets increasingly attractive assuming I need multiple cycles (DOR and AMA, amirite?). This is factoring in cost of living, existing financial commitments at home and treatment costs. Doesn’t include plane tickets as I am already making an annual trip to visit family. I work remotely and would likely be able to shift my working hours a little, so it wouldn’t be as demanding. It’d be a ~3 month stint to do however many cycles I can in that time.

Is there anything I’m overlooking - emotionally, mentally, physically, financially? I’m trying to keep my outlook on this as an exciting adventure, living my life in a new country, without obsessing over infertility and RPL…despite the whole purpose of the trip. Otherwise I think I’d just be angry at the world.

Also…does anyone else just feel like they’re playing with Monopoly money at this point? Over the course of the last year, my thinking has become, “OK, sure I guess. What’s another $5k?”

I’m AMA and have an AMH of 0.4. AFC ranges from 2-8. Sono was clear. I started trying in late 2024 (though life happens, so not every month was timed). Sorry for the lengthy post.

Aug 2025 - IVF. 9-10 mature follicles, 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 4 fertilized. No blasts. My eggs were difficult to flush out. Stimmed for 16 days. Priming, Letrozole, 225 Menopur.

Sept 2025 - successful medicated IUI with 2 mature follicles. Heartbeat twice. MMC at 10 weeks, and had a D&C. Chromosomal abnormality.

Jan 2026 - failed IUI. Grew 5-6 mature follicles on 100 Gonal F.

Feb 2026 - IVF attempt. Similar moderate antagonist, no priming. Asynchronous growth with 1 follicle. Converted to IUI. Waste of Omni.

March 2026 - IVF attempt. Similar moderate antagonist protocol, no priming. Asynchronous growth with 3 follicles. Converted to IUI. No Omni.

April 2026 - rest month, did not try.

May 2026 - IVF. Standard antagonist protocol, with priming, 300 Gonal F + 75 Menopur, Omni. 8 follicles. 4 retrieved, 4 lost to premature ovulation. Of the 4 retrieved, 2 were damaged at retrieval (fragile) and 2 were mature and fertilized. Transferred both on day 3, grading was good and they were 8-cells. No implantation.

June 2026 - decided to take a break from the clinic. Spontaneous pregnancy. Saw a heartbeat. MMC at 7 weeks. POC testing pending.

My multi-stage question…I can afford 1, maybe 2 more IVF cycles. I will be taking a break to recover, then I plan to try IVF one more time. But given the fact that the only times I’ve been pregnant is through IUI and spontaneous, do you think it’s even worth sinking in the money for a second attempt or should I stick to IUI? I’m acutely aware of my age and AMH and know that I can’t afford to waste time. But I’m wondering if my eggs just do better without lab intervention and I simply need to find the right egg.

Secondly, would you push for PGTA or continue with day 3s? Since I have a hard time making blasts, it feels like day 3s might be my best bet. But then I’m risking another chromosomal abnormality? But I’m still risking that if I keep trying at home either way.

I will ask my RE about trigger timing, but does anything else stand out to you? Priming seems to work better for me. I can afford the omni if it works, but obviously I can’t tell if it truly did anything. I will also ask about an RPL panel and perhaps parental karyotyping.

Ultimately I know all these decisions are up to me. Mentally, I almost feel detached at this point. It used to feel more like desperation, but now I’m like “👍🏻, what’s next?” I can’t help but think I’ll find a good egg eventually.

Thanks for reading, and for giving any thoughts you might have.

After two years of infertility, two failed IVFs with two day 3 transfers (because I have DOR and can’t make blasts), two failed IUIs, another two failed IVFs converted to IUIs, now even my MMCs have joined the rank of twos. I’m sick of living my life in twos. And all the while, my friends are celebrating their baby’s 2nd birthday or celebrating the birth of their second child.

I can only laugh at my “bad luck”.

I already had a hard time trusting this pregnancy after my first miscarriage where I saw the heartbeat twice. This time, I saw it once and tried to relax. “The first one was bad luck due to a chromosomal abnormality unrelated to age. You’re fine! The chances of it happening again are small.” Nope. Of course not, it couldn’t have been just that easy.

I thought “persistence and patience is what it will take. If nothing else, I have those two things”. But I wonder how much more persistence and patience it will take. How many more tears and how much more sacrifice it will take. How many more needles, medication, money, time, and pressure it will take. What the toll on my mental health is.

I’m just rambling right now and terrified to take the misoprostol today. Maybe just delaying the inevitable. I have to collect myself too so I can attempt to test it. My first was a D&C due to how far along I was, but the RE didn’t recommend it this time “IN CASE I HAVE ANOTHER MISCARRIAGE”.

I’m so angry and frustrated and just so, so sad.

In a year, I feel like I’ve become so desensitized to “bad luck” news…but at the same time, I still cry and am devastated with every negative outcome.

I had an AMH of 0.4 just before I turned 36. AFC ranges between 3-8. I’ve just turned 37. No MFI, no other issues.

IVF Round 1: No blasts. 9 mature follicles, 6 retrieved, 4 mature. Mini stim antagonist protocol with estrogen priming. I think I was over stimmed as I went on for 16 days and my estrogen plummeted the day before retrieval. Eggs were deemed poor quality.

IUI Round 1: MMC at 10 weeks (testing showed a chromosomal abnormality not related to age). 2 follicles.

IUI Round 2: Failed with 6 mature follicles.

IVF to IUI Round 3 (?): Failed. Attempted the same mini stim protocol, no priming but included omni. 2 follicles.

IVF to IUI Round 4 (?): Failed. Attempted the same mini stim protocol, no priming, no omni. 3 follicles.

IVF Round 2: 2 day 3s, fresh transferred. 8 cells, good grades. Failed, no implantation. 8 mature follicles, 4 retrieved, 2 mature. One side ovulated early and I lost all those follicles. Standard antagonist with estrogen priming and omni.

Would have been due next week if my first and only pregnancy didn’t end in a MMC. So yep, it’s been 10months already.

I have one IVF cycle left that I can’t use until the fall. And at this point, we need a break from the clinic and all the appointments. Meds are all OOP. We’ll continue to try naturally for the next few months, but I’m not even sure about doing IUIs anymore.

I guess I have several questions…

Has anyone been successful with a similar profile, either spontaneously or through IUI? Do you think IUI truly presents significant advantages? (Just looking for opinions and anecdotes. I know it’s less than 10%, but if you ovulate normally and have no other issues, is it just a timing game and finding the right egg? IVF is used to “get pregnant faster” and to be able to PGTA, but none of that has happened yet…)

What kind of questions would you ask during the WTF appointment? (Other than the obvious of what to do to prevent pre ovulation?) Anything you would suggest trying?

Lastly, has anyone gone overseas to do more IVF? I’m looking at Korea since their medical technology is advanced, the cost is attractive and I’d have lodging as well. However, I work eastern hours and obviously need this job to continue funding this pipe dream….I also worry about the toll it’d have on my body to attend appointments and work at the same time.

Sorry for the super long post. I’m desperate, in total despair, and just need some hugs and am hoping to hear success stories, thoughts, and opinions all at the same time. TIA.