u/unwell_umwelt

It’s been posted here before, but I still come
back to this quote when things feel insurmountably sad.

reminds me of trains across the sea.

Angels can fly because they can take themselves lightly. This has been always the instinct of Christendom, and especially the instinct of Christian art. Remember how Fra Angelico represented all his angels, not only as birds, but almost as butterflies. Remember how the most earnest mediaeval art was full of light and fluttering draperies, of quick and capering feet. It was the one thing that the modern Pre-raphaelites could not imitate in the real Pre-raphaelites. Burne-Jones could never recover the deep levity of the Middle Ages. In the old Christian pictures the sky over every figure is like a blue or gold parachute. Every figure seems ready to fly up and float about in the heavens. The tattered cloak of the beggar will bear him up like the rayed plumes of the angels. But the kings in their heavy gold and the proud in their robes of purple will all of their nature sink downwards, for pride cannot rise to levity or levitation. Pride is the downward drag of all things into an easy solemnity. One "settles down" into a sort of selfish seriousness; but one has to rise to a gay self-forgetfulness. A man "falls" into a brown study; he reaches up at a blue sky. Seriousness is not a virtue. It would be a heresy, but a much more sensible heresy, to say that seriousness is a vice. It is really a natural trend or lapse into taking one's self gravely, because it is the easiest thing to do. It is much easier to write a good Times leading article than a good joke in Punch. For solemnity flows out of men naturally; but laughter is a leap. It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light. Satan fell by the force of gravity.
G.K. Chesterton

Long story short: I was raised “cafeteria catholic” and ended up the only one in the family to take my faith in a more devoted direction.

When my daughter was born I knew I wanted her to be baptized but was discouraged from my original choices for godmother/father to choose someone more closely related, regardless of their (lack of) devotion. I knew in my heart this was a poor choice but acquiesced out of extreme guilt.

however now my parish is requesting a sponsor eligibility form from both godparents that i cannot truthfully give them.

her baptism was set for this coming sunday and i had planned a lot for her celebration. it’s obviously not the celebration i am regretting but the fear she will not be able to receive this sacrament.

i have requested an emergency meeting with my priest but have yet to hear back. just hoping for some guidance in the meantime. thank you all so much.