u/valentne404

I recently met another INFJ and it feels… delicious and slightly scary how many things we seem to have in common.

We seem to share a lot of values, similar sensitivities, similar ways of processing things, and even similar emotional depth. What surprises me most is that he expresses his sensitive side more openly than I do, which I find both touching and a little destabilising.

I’m taking my time and not projecting too much, but it feels genuinely nice to meet a man who is curious, communicative, passionate, and actually interested in knowing the woman in front of him.

Before this, I had a connection with someone who was an INTJ, older, and the communication broke down very quickly. I know this is not true for every INTJ, of course, but the contrast is wild. With this INFJ, the communication feels much more fluid, warm and emotionally present.

I don’t know where it will go, and I’m staying grounded, but I’m curious to see what this holds for us.

Have any other INFJs dated or connected deeply with another INFJ? Did it feel intense from the start?

If you tried to communicate and they disappeared, it’s not your fault.

If you were left confused, questioning yourself, or wondering what you did wrong, please remember: you probably didn’t do anything deeply wrong.

A couple of months ago, I met someone for a short period of time. At first, he was intense, affectionate, and constantly wanted to see me. Then the first disagreement happened, and suddenly it felt like I was dealing with a toddler rather than the man I was getting to know.

I have a secure attachment style, and even then, it shook me. Not because I truly wanted him back, but because I started wondering if I had somehow messed everything up. I didn’t really understand avoidance until I experienced it up close.

So just a little reminder: move on, focus on yourself, and don’t let someone else’s inability to communicate make you doubt your worth.

Since then, I’ve met someone who feels like the polar opposite of avoidant. It’s still new, and I’m taking my time, but he makes me very happy.

So if you needed to hear this today: focus on you. Good things can still happen.

Be safe out there.

Hi everyone,

I’m based in France and I’d really love to hear from people working in landscaping, horticulture, urban farming, permaculture, market gardening, ecological gardening, plant production, etc.

I’m nearly 40F in a year or so and I’m seriously questioning whether I should keep plants as a passion/side path, or whether there is a realistic way to move into this field without financially destroying myself.

For context: I currently work in marketing/growth. It’s not my first career — before that I spent over 15 years in a creative field. I was good at it, but getting stable work was extremely difficult, which is one of the reasons I moved into marketing: more jobs/stability(well now… thanks AI), better pay, easier to cover rent and bills.

At the same time, I’ve always had a huge love for plants — especially aquatic plants, forest gardening, permaculture, edible systems, soil, biodiversity, etc. I’m volunteering in market gardening / urban farming contexts where I can, and I’m also happy to share the small amount I know because I genuinely love the subject. I’m soon doing an 11-day certification/course in urban and peri-urban permaculture, which I’m paying for myself in a great school.

I’ve also started looking at adult training options: landscaping diplomas, gardening qualifications, horticulture, agriculture urbaine, etc. But I’m nervous.

My biggest concern is money.

I rent, and while I don’t have huge expenses, rent is the issue. I’m honestly scared of leaving marketing only to end up on minimum wage forever, doing very physical work, and breaking my back for a job that doesn’t pay enough to live properly.

I’m sure more people would love to work with plants if money wasn’t such a big obstacle.

Another concern: a lot of the diplomas I see are in landscaping, which seems to involve a lot of construction, digging, hard landscaping, ornamental planting, maintenance, and making places look “nice”. I respect the skill, but I’m much more interested in living systems, permaculture, food production, biodiversity and ecological gardening. I also really don’t want to end up in a job where I’m expected to use pesticides or work in ways that damage the soil. That would make me hate the thing I love. What’s the point?

My original plan was: stay in marketing, save money, eventually buy a place with a garden, and keep volunteering / learning on the side. But I’m at a point where I’m thinking about plants constantly. At the same time, AI is affecting marketing jobs, and even with a good CV and experience I’m currently looking for a new permanent role — so all these questions are coming up strongly.

So I’d love some honest insights from people in France or EU:

\- What job do you do exactly?
\- What region are you in?
\- What is your salary / hourly rate / income range?
\- Did you do a diploma or training? Was it worth it?
\- Is there a real path to earning a decent living in this field?
\- Are there plant-related jobs that are less physically destructive and more ecological?
\- Would you recommend someone nearly 40 to enter the field, or to keep it as a passion/side project?

One thing I should add: at the moment, I’m not looking to train and then immediately go freelance / start my own business. I understand that, for many people in this field, freelancing or running a business is the main way to earn more. I’ve done freelancing as a creative person for over 10 years. I want a permanent role right now.

I also feel you already need a certain level of money and security to do that properly: tools, vehicle, insurance, clients, maybe help/staff, etc. I’m not there yet, and I still feel like a complete “beginner” in this world.

So I’m especially interested in hearing about salaried roles, realistic entry paths, and what income progression can look like before going independent.

Thank you 🍀

Hi everyone,

I’m based in France and I’d really love to hear from people working in landscaping, horticulture, urban farming, permaculture, market gardening, ecological gardening, plant production, etc.

I’m nearly 40F in a year or so and I’m seriously questioning whether I should keep plants as a passion/side path, or whether there is a realistic way to move into this field without financially destroying myself.

For context: I currently work in marketing/growth. It’s not my first career — before that I spent over 15 years in a creative field. I was good at it, but getting stable work was extremely difficult, which is one of the reasons I moved into marketing: more jobs/stability(well now… thanks AI), better pay, easier to cover rent and bills.

At the same time, I’ve always had a huge love for plants — especially aquatic plants, forest gardening, permaculture, edible systems, soil, biodiversity, etc. I’m volunteering in market gardening / urban farming contexts where I can, and I’m also happy to share the small amount I know because I genuinely love the subject. I’m soon doing an 11-day certification/course in urban and peri-urban permaculture, which I’m paying for myself in a great school.

I’ve also started looking at adult training options: landscaping diplomas, gardening qualifications, horticulture, agriculture urbaine, etc. But I’m nervous.

My biggest concern is money.

I rent, and while I don’t have huge expenses, rent is the issue. I’m honestly scared of leaving marketing only to end up on minimum wage forever, doing very physical work, and breaking my back for a job that doesn’t pay enough to live properly.

I’m sure more people would love to work with plants if money wasn’t such a big obstacle.

Another concern: a lot of the diplomas I see are in landscaping, which seems to involve a lot of construction, digging, hard landscaping, ornamental planting, maintenance, and making places look “nice”. I respect the skill, but I’m much more interested in living systems, permaculture, food production, biodiversity and ecological gardening. I also really don’t want to end up in a job where I’m expected to use pesticides or work in ways that damage the soil. That would make me hate the thing I love. What’s the point?

My original plan was: stay in marketing, save money, eventually buy a place with a garden, and keep volunteering / learning on the side. But I’m at a point where I’m thinking about plants constantly. At the same time, AI is affecting marketing jobs, and even with a good CV and experience I’m currently looking for a new permanent role — so all these questions are coming up strongly.

So I’d love some honest insights from people in France or EU:

- What job do you do exactly?
- What region are you in?
- What is your salary / hourly rate / income range?
- Did you do a diploma or training? Was it worth it?
- Is there a real path to earning a decent living in this field?
- Are there plant-related jobs that are less physically destructive and more ecological?
- Would you recommend someone nearly 40 to enter the field, or to keep it as a passion/side project?

One thing I should add: at the moment, I’m not looking to train and then immediately go freelance / start my own business. I understand that, for many people in this field, freelancing or running a business is the main way to earn more. I’ve done freelancing as a creative person for over 10 years. I want a permanent role right now.

I also feel you already need a certain level of money and security to do that properly: tools, vehicle, insurance, clients, maybe help/staff, etc. I’m not there yet, and I still feel like a complete “beginner” in this world.

So I’m especially interested in hearing about salaried roles, realistic entry paths, and what income progression can look like before going independent.

Thank you 🍀