on a trip with my friend and her friends, don’t want to be here anymore
currently over halfway through my first international trip with my roommate. I put in a lot of OT and hours at my second job to afford this. there are a bunch of smaller issues that have come up around this trip, but I’ve found people don’t normally share my perspective on things so I was trying to work through them myself.
first, we were meant to stay with another one of her friends for the whole trip, but she didn’t ask until we had already bought the tickets. their parents said no, so we had to book an airbnb. this trip was already really expensive for me, and at that point I thought we had all major expenses covered so I was really hurt.
she planned a lot of this trip with her friend while I was at work. she works nights and these friends are in a timezone that aligns with when she is awake. they would send things to me when I couldn’t look at them, after they already pretty much decided on it. ultimately it’s fine, but after asking clarifying questions I get snapped at for not knowing the details when I can’t look at any of the bookings myself and I wasn’t there when they happened.
my biggest issue, I did not know this was a birthday trip for her friend. I didn’t even know they would be coming until 2 days before our flight. at most I thought we were just going to spend a day with them. I’m not good around new people but I figured if they were friends with my roommate they would be nice enough.
this friend I cannot stand. they’re a streamer. they spent half of the first day streaming our trip. he is incapable of navigating or googling things for himself, makes us use our international data to search things. he left during dinner to go to a grocery store so she had to pay for him. (which they decided to split dinner evenly, though I specifically ordered cheap) he threw up in public, almost on the feet of some strangers, after chugging an alcoholic seltzer (he boasted of his history with alcohol and throwing up). we went to a pub, and once the two of them got their drinks, they went to sit without me. by the time I got there they were finished and were ready to leave. on top of all of this he is rude to me, talks to me like a child, but this is on par with how strangers treat me bc of my neurodivergence.
when I don’t like people it’s very hard for me to hide it. I’m interacting with him as little as possible. and my roommate seems to be taking his side on things. another last minute change of plans meant we had to buy train tickets. when I said I didn’t want to buy tickets for her friend (who was streaming ow while we were figuring this out) and that if she wanted to book together she would have to do it, she started to really shut me out. this morning, I tried to ask if she remembered if there were any grocery stores by the station so we could grab snacks and she snapped at me.
I just feel like I’m not wanted on my own trip. I almost want to just book another hotel by myself or go home early. normally I would just write this in a journal but I don’t have any privacy to write. I miss my cats and don’t want to see any other humans for a month.