u/vincentually

i've been trying to learn electric guitar for a bit but i haven't been consistent at all. my sister is getting drum lessons so i feel inspired to try more consistently, but i just can't comprehend how to fret properly. i try to watch youtube videos on people teaching basic chord progressions, but my hands never feel natural and the sound is almost never right, and i never retain what i learn. my sister keeps asking me if i've done anything yet and i always have to say no because i'm too shit to even pick it up. i've been trying to find videos but it's just been fruitless. i need some advice.

https://www.reddit.com/r/FTMMen/s/QcAUak9cKW

updated the post now, for anyone who wants to know. in short, i told the doctor i was trans basically, so he's helping me

NOW UPDATED!

i've been doing DIY for a few months and my mom thinks i have diabetes or a hormone imbalance. she's going to take me to an endo to test my hormones and they're going to see my testosterone levels are high. i'm doing everything i can to resist but she keeps saying i have to be better safe than sorry. they're going to see my levels. idk if they're gonna perscribe me estrogen or something but if i have to take regular blood tests, i'm gonna get detransed. i think it's over for me.

i have literally no excuse as to why i wouldn't want to do it. my mom keeps saying she sees symptoms of diabetes in me and i keep insisting i'm fine. idk i'm just fucked, appointment's already booked and everything. god dammit boys. i should've shaved more often. i let the happiness of starting T make my mom suspicious because i kept my facial hair. she sees no other change except for that.

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UPDATE: my mom mentioned things which elicited concern about my hormones. my doctor suggested issues like PCOS or intersex conditions. he talked to my mom privately, and then me. my mom revealed that he asked her if i was taking anything but that's all she really said because i refused to tell her what i heard.

for me... the doctor said that it's either i have gender dysphoria or something else, and he's asking so it makes his job easier, so i told him i do have the condition and that i'm taking hormones. he removed the blood test for sex hormones and is instead checking something else to see what effects testosterone is having on me without checking T directly. it was really scary but he seemed understanding so thank fuck. he said he would also have to talk to his superiors because he still has to abide by saudi law, then he warned me how eventually i'm gonna talk to my parents about having dysphoria and that the effects of T will be too obvious to hide.

i think i'm going to start trying to girlmode. i've always passed, people gendered me as male before and after T, but since i'm taking it, i'm probably going to have to shave just to make sure i'm not in any danger. i was always very hairy but it's clear that it's more obvious i've gotten hairier now. thanks all, seems like luck was on my side.

i'm about 4 months on T, started february 1st. my injections have either been absolutely painless or they hurt and stay sore for a while and i have no idea why. i'm just sitting here in pain since the needle hurt going in, hurt while depositing the liquid, and hurt after my shot. i don't know if i'm necessarily doing something "wrong," but i need some help.

i'll describe my routine:
go to the bathroom, get my injection supplies ready, wipe the top of the vial with an alcohol wipe, inject air into the liquid, draw up the liquid, wipe my stomach, insert the needle, keep pushing all the liquid in, then immediately apply a bandage and some pressure.

i've noted that most of the time some testosterone leaks out and that the liquid being deposited into the fat burns, but sometimes inserting the needle is painless and the after-effects are too, except for some soreness. i also don't see much bleeding, though it happened this time. now that i've finished writing this post, the post-injection pain has kind of worn off thankfully.

please help me, also i can't ask others for help since my parents don't know i'm on T.

i started T on february 1st, so i've been on it for around 4 months now. i DIY so no blood tests available to me.

for the first month nothing happened, then changes started to occur (mostly to do with hair, i'm much more hairy and i have facial hair). throughout this time, i've barely noticed a change to bottom growth and it's really upsetting me. i can tell there might be some changes but it's not like what i see online at all.

so, is this normal? do i just have to wait more? why do people always say they notice it right away yet i don't?

(btw, my dose has been consistently 70 mg/week, but for the past 3 weeks i lowered to 50 mg so i have time to order another vial.)

my friends call me insane because i don't own a mousepad, but i have literally never needed it for gaming in my life. i've always been a laptop gamer and my mouse works just fine on my desk, and now that i have a $2000 pc, i have never considered needing a mousepad. i genuinely think they're useless because my mouse works just fine. why the fuck would i clutter my desk more with peripherals when i already have a huge keyboard and mic and 21'' screen. completely bogus invention made just for people to put their favorite characters on it.