Just moved here from Bushwick, although before that I lived off the Chauncey J. Love the 24 hour bodega closest to my apartment, but they’re halal.
Where can a gal get a real deal BEC around here? Willing to walk ~10 min in any direction for when the craving hits.
My partner and I have been dating for about 8 months. This is the best connection I’ve ever had, and he has expressed the same in the past. We have talked about many aspects of a shared future together and it all felt very real and secure.
Then, little conflicts started popping up here and there. I thought we were doing a great job of resolving them with honest, open communication. Until the most recent one - that escalated more than it needed to because we were both triggered. We didn’t talk about it afterwards like we usually do. Then he started becoming a little less affectionate towards me.
Fast forward a week or two and he finally reveals that he is questioning our compatibility following this unresolved conflict. We didn’t break up, but the idea of breaking up was introduced. Even though he had been less affectionate, this blindsided me, because we have always talked through conflicts and in my opinion, come out better on the other side. Anyways, I love this man and could not help but try to ask if we couldn’t work this out too. We ended the conversation agreeing to give it time to try and lean into the connection. He also needed time to sort through his feelings and confusion.
Since then, we haven’t talked about it any more yet and instead have focused on having a nice time together - successfully, I think! He has shown up for me and for us more than during those weeks where he was less affectionate. It’s not exactly as things were when I felt the most secure in our connection, but there are lots of undeniably good moments in the past week.
And still… especially when we aren’t together, there is a strong undercurrent of anxiety in me that sometimes builds into dread. I know we will check back in on this conversation at some point and it’s hard not to fear the worst outcome. I am struggling in some moments to be chill and tolerate the not knowing while he processes his feelings internally.
I’m curious - how other people have handled similar moments in relationships?