It may not be related to things here but I’ve been wanting to know what it means for months, only because this was waved at a Baptist church along with Israeli flags, which A doesn’t make sense to me even if it’s supposed to be a good representation and B rubs me the wrong way because these people are praying over the devil, in my opinion .
Me F(20) and my fiance M (23) recently had our baby about a year ago and we moved in with his sibling F (18) first thing imma say is I’m a very spiritual person and I take signs very seriously when needed. Anyways we lived with his sister for a good couple of months and I think the reason it was only some months because apparently I seemed like I didn’t want her around, mind you I’m freshly post partum I’m not getting any visits from any friends or family, my parents are telling ME to go over to them instead and I’m just dealing with so much shit all at the same time mentally and physically, so I’m sorry if your boy talk doesn’t interest me right now or the fact that you’re playing in these people’s faces then complain when it happens to you, IDGAF. So yea she ended up moving out, I feel like I’m a pretty straightforward person, I don’t ask for much or anything at all, I gave her hospitality and my shoulder to cry on because I don’t have secret animosity towards people all I have is my survival instincts and when they’re triggered I may come off as “Hollywood” when the whole time it’s my spirit,soul, mind and body fighting each other because they can’t come to a conclusion wether that weird shit Ive been peeping defines her as a person, but there’s just too many patterns and I will tell you some of them. When we first started living together we decided to watch a movie together and I’m a shy person sometimes I come off as nonchalant or just awkward in general but this time I wasn’t doing anything, just watching the movie and holding my newborn, then I got this feeling I was being watched and sure enough she was just staringg at me and wouldn’t look away (does she not know you’re able to see your surroundings even if you’re staring at one thing specifically? ) anyhow she ended up moving back in again after leaving but this time with her boyfriend because they got kicked out of their moms for not paying rent and the only reason they got kicked out was because they hate it whenever someone confronts them about obvious things, well long story short they asked for a place to stay and we said yes, I mainly said yes because of my fiancee and because that is his sister and I also said it’s not permanently they need to find a job and show that they can financially sustain themselves and then we can see about moving in with them after our lease ends, during this period of time I was cleaning up after these people and surprisingly they were doing a good job cleaning up after themselves and my SIL seemed like she was doing better and being more productive than hooking up with dudes or doing substances all the time, until they broke up and all of a sudden she wants to pull the victim card or depression card and expects us to justify her actions because she’s just really going through it right now dude 🙁. (mind you I’m trying not to lose my mind every single day since I’ve been pregnant) it’s not like I don’t try to give her advice either and let her self destruct but then again I don’t bring that energy where it’s not needed or necessary ykwim ? She stopped cleaning up after herself or doing her chores like we had all agreed to, we even had a schedule for all of us until my SIL bf left and me trying not to stir things up I kept quiet and just hoped she would notice she’s slacking off and start taking care of her responsibilities but no, I feel like I’m getting manipulated and gaslighted and I just want to do something idk what but I need to release all this tension because I can’t do it anymore, my fiancee loves his sister so much that she takes advantage of it and that’s why he never pushes her to do better or be a better person, I don’t like bad mouthing people let alone write about them but these weird things she’s done genuinely has me losing hairs, she invaded my personal space and doesn’t even respect it, I told her mi casa es tu casa but if you start disrespecting my home that’s when I lose respect for you because that means you don’t respect me or my time and I am not with that shit dude, my brain is so scrambled but I still have to be a mom and a good partner while also trying to keep the sister in law relationship steady to save my fiance some stress but if anything we’re back to the same shit because she still doesn’t do shit, she lost her fucking job like always, always wants to play that loud ass sad music, ignores me when I clearly call her multiple times and louder each time, gives me passive aggressive comments and energy, calls me dumb every chance she gets just because I happen to say something stupid or says things like “sometimes I genuinely think you’re really slow” or “you’re so stupid” like okay i get it man saying it every now and then is funny but when you do it every time im clearly doing or saying something to become a better me then that’s when you start losing value in my life, she always come with her nasty energy and the things i said about her invading my personal space was the last straw because she broke a necklace that i really liked and never told me, then left the mess for me to clean like im some maid, and before then she had gave me a bracelet then randomly asks for it but never gives it back again and then goes and fucks up my shit, that same day I found out what she did I put her motherfucking toothbrush in the toilet (I washed it after cause I still felt bad, but still pretty nasty to think about) then that same day she came home crying cause she lost her job, idk if God did this, my spirit guides or karma did because I did ask for their help, but I’m still stuck how do I take control of my home and peace again without kicking her out or telling my partner and stress him out (we’re giving her the courtesy to stay with us until our lease ends in January 2027 so I kind of have to put up with it but sometimes I genuinely wanna beat a bitch up.