u/vyl8

My Ndad is a covert narcist. He comes across as charming and funny and since he worships my mom and has done great work in the community, nobody cared/noticed he emotionally and mentally abused his kids. Everyone always thought we deserved what we got and for a long time, I did as well.

Anyway, his health has been bad since I was a kid. Now that I am in my 40s, it has taken a turn for the worse and it seems like he is going to die soon. I am on an email list my Emom made for his health updates. And the emails about his hospital visits are almost daily. When I see one hit my inbox, I am filled with anxiety and dread.

I have a good but somewhat complicated relationship with my Emom. She is a good person who was raised by an Nmom and an Edad. My Emom doesn't really see the emotional or mental abuse my Ndad does because her Nmom was a violent and cruel person and my Ndad seems pretty nice by comparison. (I am at least fortunate she didn't let my Ndad's worship go to her head because growing up would have been that much worse.) She thinks I am exaggerating and being dramatic when I talk about how much they hurt me as a child. This could partially be because my Ndad has convinced everyone growing up that I was a liar and a scam artist, so no one believes me.

I still want to maintain a good relationship with my Emom and not hurt her feelings, but I also do not want to hear more updates about my Ndad. How do I tell her to take me off her email list? Thanks.