skl. nakita ko sa gallery while deleting stuff.
naalala na naman. i made this before we stopped talking. she was my bff first eh. now, i'm like "i know she's your girl now, but she was my girl first" by ethel cain. lolz. she seems happy and open about their flaws, which i'm nothing if not envious about. but we were something don't you think so by taylor swift eh, like, happy to just have each other. even thought and wholely believed that i'd be fine with whatever happens as long as i have her. that's so naive of me to think pala.
well, things happen, and it kind of pisses me off lang when i think of how we didn't even go out badly, like no fights or disagreements. but it was gradual and quiet, and at the time i let it because akala ko it was just a latency phase where we were busy trying to survive college. but even talking ceased. knowing her paused, her knowing me eventually faded away into the background. and kahit man she's private and low-key about her new girl, she does seem more like herself. but she's more confident than i've seen her, and i'm sooo so jealous i don't get to have that version of her.
it'd partly be my fault that i didn't reach out first or reach out enough for that matter. maybe i overestimated my value in her life when i was placated that she would seek me out, and there's still this thorough ache in my chest every time i remember. i think that's all i ever do since we stopped talking.
the text behind the subject is a lyric from mitski's heaven, "can we stay a while and listen for heaven?" dedicated 'to sa amin sana eh. i believe i didn't even get to show her this. and she loved that i introduced her to mitski and we don't even get to talk about that now. 😤
FAHHH i miss her guys you guyssss. ✊🏻🤕 QUICK, what's a song that can describe this situation? i wanna feel the gravity of losing you by underscores- eme.