Veganism is ruining my life, but I can’t go back
I’ve been vegan about 7 years and I will mention up front I have a fun mix of adhd and ocd so I have my fair share of shit brain times but in the last two years to so, I have become a very angry person. Any time I see someone eating meat or talking about eating meat, it makes me angry. It makes me hate them. How could they not see what they’re doing is horrible? It makes me spiral into feelings of misanthropy and hatred toward humanity. As you can imagine, it makes days like today hard (BBQs etc). Same with pretty much any other holiday or celebration. But it doesn’t stop there. Someone bitching about climate change? Well, it’s their fault for consuming animal products. Someone sad about a dog getting hit by a car? Well, you’re an asshole for not caring that millions of farm animals are purposely killed every day.
I have lost my hope for humanity because I see everything through a vegan lens and I cannot unsee the sadness I now know exists. I am alienated in these feelings as no one I know, not even my husband, is vegan.
I cannot morally return to eating animals but I feel like my mental health is at a dangerous place with all this anger and sadness I cannot ignore. I’m hiding in my house today to avoid parties and because I’m so sad about how much fireworks hurt wildlife.
I don’t even know why I’m posting this. Assurance? Validation? Someone to tell me I’m a sensitive little fuck? 🤷♀️ who knows.