u/walkablecities_lover

One of my closest friends (who I see as an older sister because I don't have any family where I live) called me recently because she realized she wrote down the wrong date for my wedding. Because of that, she ended up booking a non-refundable trip that overlaps with the wedding date. She was very apologetic and said she feels terrible about it. She also said she’s honored to be invited and still wants to be part of the celebration in some way, and asked if there’s anything she can do to make it up to me, like celebrating another day or even with my family.

The thing is, I’m honestly really upset. My wedding situation already feels pretty small and fragile. Most of my family likely won’t be able to come because they live overseas. Realistically, it’s probably just my mom attending. My best friend also can’t make it because she lives too far and travel isn’t possible for her. So when I got this call, I honestly just lost it—it felt like another important person I was really counting on won’t be there.

I even asked her if she could move the dates or adjust her trip if she couldn’t cancel the flight, but she said she can’t because she’s going with a friend and they can’t change the timing.

I know this was a genuine mistake. I don’t think she’s a bad person, and I still love her a lot. This isn’t friendship-ending at all. But for me, the one thing I wanted was for her to be there on the actual day. I don’t really want a makeup dinner, separate celebration, gifts, or anything like that. None of it feels equivalent to just having her there at the wedding itself. That opportunity is gone. I feel guilty because she’s trying to make it right, but I also don’t want to pretend another celebration would fix how I feel when it wouldn’t.

Am I being too harsh?