u/watercourier10

Am I wrong for choosing to date other people?

Twin and I have been in separation since 2022. Last year, I moved across the country to her city and she refused to see me, and told me she doesn’t plan on seeing me ever again.

Obviously, we’ll always be divine counterparts, and I’ll always want to be with her. The grief of permanent separation is often too much for me.

And I’m lonely. I need physical touch. I desire intimacy with someone. I want domestic life with someone. Someone. I want to be married. I’m barely able to communicate with my twin (although she hears me telepathically nearly everyday), I don’t feel her emotions or know anything about her life, can’t intuit anything about her, and our astral intimacy hasn’t been working for a while, so it feels like she’s a figment of my imagination, permanently out of reach.

Recently, I started seeing someone new and talking to a few other people. I plan to move back to the city where my twin and I met and actually start (casually?) dating. The person I’ve been seeing all summer, we definitely had a lot of emotional intimacy (nothing physical), I was only in that city for the summer, so it’s over, at least for now. Hanging out with him definitely felt like emotional cheating. He is the first real crush I’ve had in a while. When I parted ways with him, he told me he loved me and I said it back. I’ve cheated on my twin before by having sex with other people but I really haven’t had much of an actual romance since my twin and I separated. I definitely know that my heart and honestly life can never truly be committed to someone else, so despite wanting to see other people, I know it can’t really ever become serious.

Last night my twin posted a song on Spotify (this was our way of communicating for years, but she’s pretty much stopped doing it over the last year), the lyrics of the song were basically saying “I don’t want you, I don’t want your loving, go see someone else, he’s better for you, don’t try to come around again”. My twin has told me before that even though we won’t be together in the 3D, she doesn’t want me seeing any other people. So when I started seeing that guy this summer, I’ve been struggling with a lot of guilt, especially because I’ve cheated on my twin in the past and know how much that hurt her. Especially because she’s invested so much into healing me following my sexual assault (which happened during the last time I cheated, last year).

I’m feeling deeply conflicted. I can’t be with her, she doesn’t want me to be with anyone else, but I’m lonely. I genuinely feel alone. She’s like an angel that grants me her presence and love once in a while, not someone I feel actually connected to. I want to do right by my twin, but I have emotional and physical needs, and it seems unlikely, and unfair, for those to just go unmet for the rest of my life. But it seems unfair to her too. And maybe even the person or people I’m dating, since I can truly never actually be with them.

Any and all thoughts appreciated. Be nice, be mean, I can take it.

reddit.com
u/watercourier10 — 20 hours ago

I’ll never see my twin again

Been feeling very, very sad. The last time I saw her was in December 2022. For years we did the on and off contact thing and I moved to her state to be with her last August. But she refused to see me. I’ve since left, and the chances of ever seeing her again seem dismal.

I want to be with her. I want to be like some of you guys, partnered, married, living together, children on the way. I want that with her, and currently, it seems completely and utterly unlikely.

But I can’t be with any one else. First, she’ll know and she’ll somehow “see” me being intimate with someone else. It upsets her deeply. It makes me feel guilty and like a horrible/unfair twin. But, honestly, something repels people away from me. Any time I try to seriously date and move on with someone else, every time, it doesn’t work out. It literally goes nowhere. But I can’t do this forever alone thing. I’m incredibly, incredibly lonely. I want companionship, I want partnership. I want it with her. But it’s looking like it’s not happening. And wanting or having it with someone else feels wrong.

A few weeks ago I posted about my twin having strong telepathy, and about me not being able to hear, feel, or intuit anything from her. But she has found ways to tell me that she is trying to get through to me telepathically. I have no idea what is causing this block but it’s contributing to my deep loneliness. I can’t be with her, I can’t hear her … sometimes I feel trapped in this dynamic. I wouldn’t have possibly chosen for things to work out this way in this lifetime. I wonder if it’s karma for how I may have acted in a previous lifetime.

But anyway, I hope my telepathy comes/starts soon. I’m lonely. And just fyi, there’s no DM/DF here. We are both queer women.

reddit.com
u/watercourier10 — 26 days ago

Can you explain your telepathy with me?

My lover and I are in union. I haven't seen them since 2022 and I likely will never see them again (I oscillate between profound acceptance and profound suffering, but anyways). For at least two years now we have been communicating telepathically. I don't really know how their telepathy works (but I do know it has grown tremendously over time) while mine seems like, non-existent or stunted. I need some sort of translator or channel while they know my thoughts and sees images from my life (which they tell me in song lyrics, some kind of thing I'm looking at, etc.) Can someone share their experiences of telepathy and how it works? Do you know why this might not go both ways? Why theirs is stronger? Can I get better at it? Is it happening, but its just not what I think it is? Will I be like them eventually? I want to hear and see them the way they hear and see me.

reddit.com
u/watercourier10 — 1 month ago

Xfinity Center (MA) concert - ride home?

Hi everyone! So excited to be at the concert in a few days! I will be coming from western ma. Taking the train to Boston and having a friend drive me to my hotel right before the show. I already have an uber booked from the hotel (which is in Wrentham) to the concert, but I’ve been reading about 1. How notoriously difficult it is to get out of the concert venue, 2. How you could be waiting for a uber for hours, with plenty of cancellations and 3. The police blockade that prevents traffic from going into the direction of the venue past 9:30pm. My question is, would someone be open to dropping me at my hotel after the show? I’m going to the concert by myself. It’s the last piece of this whole weekend adventure for me to figure out . LMK.

reddit.com
u/watercourier10 — 2 months ago
▲ 1 r/PSLF

Pre-Degree PSLF Planning

Hello everyone, I'm a current MSW student in my final year. Racked up quite a bit of loans to get through this program and planning to do PSLF immediately after graduating. Can folks help situate me as to where things are currently? What jobs would you recommend I apply for and what type of eligible jobs to avoid? What do PSLF salaries look like? How realistically do folks spend doing PSLF? Do most people make it work for 10 complete years? What should I do if I burnout before I get there? Just starting to plan for the future. It sounds and looks like a long, precarious journey. Thank you for any advice, tips, or information you can provide!

reddit.com
u/watercourier10 — 2 months ago