u/westcoastpehpuh

First it started academic with the door open. I talked about the paper, she told me she made edits, and then she printed it out. Then, I talked about how running relates to sociology. I talked about coaches and how they treat kids poorly. She then decided to rant about how her coach was verbally abusive, the coach called her an asshole, and how it was just a negative experience for her. Then I said “I got into running during covid”. Then she decided to cut me off. At this point in the meeting, I became overwhelmed and I told her to close the door. She got up, closed the door, then said “what is it”. I told Gabriele about my romantic feelings for her. Gabriele responded in a calm, supportive tone, reassuring me that having those feelings is fine and emphasized my worth. Although she never explicitly said whether she was interested or not, she said there were compatibility issues and that she should not be in a relationship. I asked her if she was straight, Gabriele said she prefers men, though she has not allowed herself to explore relationships with women, and confirmed that she was not in a relationship. So I asked her if she even liked women. She responded by saying “it’s not that I don’t like women. I just shouldn’t be in a relationship.” She also said “not to take this as a rejection.” She said that twice. At this point, the conversation became even more personal and she said to me “I probably wouldn’t care. I had two guys that broke up with me and I was like “Oh I didn’t know that we were dating.” I asked her about the students that had been interested in her and if any of them were female, and she said “No, all guys. Some of them graduated, some of them did not.” Then she sat with her arms on the arm rests of the chair and she hung her head and said “I think I understand why this feels different with you”. I said “What do you mean?” She responded back by saying “You know, Breton… I’ve been hurt by a lot of women.” I didn’t say anything for a few seconds, but then I asked her if I could hug her and she said yes. The hug was very long, it was tight, and it felt intimate. It lasted about ten seconds. Then she pulled away and she chose to kiss me on the mouth without consent. I froze. The kiss lasted less than five seconds and was initiated by her. I did not say or do anything however I was shocked. I left as soon as I could because it was awkward and I knew another student was waiting. Her arms were still around my shoulders. She was the one to take a step back….She handed me back my paper and said “take this”, and I opened the door and left.

I (27F) am a lesbian who likes women with accents, especially German women. I don’t know why. I just find it really attractive for some reason. How is lesbian life in Germany for those who live there? I am in Berlin for a few weeks and I want to meet new people.

First it started academic with the door open. I talked about the paper, she told me she made edits, and then she printed it out. Then, I talked about how running relates to sociology. I talked about coaches and how they treat kids poorly. She then decided to rant about how her coach was verbally abusive, the coach called her an asshole, and how it was just a negative experience for her. Then I said “I got into running during covid”. Then she decided to cut me off. At this point in the meeting, I became overwhelmed at that point, and I told her to close the door. She got up, closed the door, then said “what is it”. I told Gabriele about my romantic feelings for her. Gabriele responded in a calm, supportive tone, reassuring me that having those feelings is fine and emphasized my worth. At first she sounded like she was rejecting me by saying there were compatibility issues and that she should not be in a relationship. I asked her if she was straight, Gabriele says she prefers men, though she has not allowed herself to explore relationships with women, and confirmed that she was not in a relationship. So I asked her if she even liked women. She responded by saying “it’s not that I don’t like women. I just shouldn’t be in a relationship.” She also said “not to take this as a rejection.” At this point, the conversation became even more personal and she said to me “I probably wouldn’t care. I had two guys that broke up with me and I was like “Oh I didn’t know that we were dating.” I asked her about the students that had been interested in her and if any of them were female, and she said “No, all guys. Some of them graduated, some of them did not.” Then she sat with her arms on the arm rests of the chair and she hung her head and said “I think I understand why this feels different with you”. I said “What do you mean?” She responded back by saying “You know, Breton… I’ve been hurt by a lot of women.” I didn’t say anything for a few seconds, but then I asked her if I could hug her and she said yes. The hug was very long, it was tight, and it felt intimate. It lasted about ten seconds. Then she chose to kiss me without asking. While I was still her student.

She was the one to pull away. She handed my paper back to me and i left. I waited for her to grade it and for my final grade to post. I tried to talk to her a week later and I came back when she was done talking to a colleague. I told her I wanted to talk to her about something else and she said come back on thursday may 7 at 3. I show up at her office at 3pm, and she is in a meeting somewhere else on campus. Two unknown male professors ask if i need assistance. I tell them I have a meeting with this professor. Both of them seem confused, at least one of them contacted her with a cell phone. She said she was “all booked up” so I leave.

I send her an email the next day, never got a response.

This is really weird. And unethical.

What am I suppose to think?

so I told my professor that I was into her and here is how the convo went. Btw the door was closed.

The responded in a calm, supportive tone, reassuring me that having those feelings is fine and emphasized my worth. At first she sounded like she was rejecting me by saying there were compatibility issues and that she should not be in a relationship. I asked her if she was straight, and she says she prefers men, though she has not allowed herself to explore relationships with women, and confirmed that she was not in a relationship. So I asked her if she even liked women. She responded by saying “it’s not that I don’t like women. I just shouldn’t be in a relationship.” She also said “not to take this as a rejection.” At this point, the conversation became even more personal. She has also told me in prior meetings about how her mom abused her and was traumatized. So the meeting continued for about an hour and she told me how she shouldn’t be in a relationship and she said to me she “probably wouldn’t care, had two guys that broke up with her“ and told them “Oh I didn’t know that we were dating.” I asked her about any students that had been interested in her and if any of them were female, and she said “No, all guys. Some of them graduated, some of them did not.” Then she sat with her arms on the arm rests of the chair and she hung her head and said “You know… I’ve been hurt by a lot of women.” I didn’t say anything for a few seconds, but then I asked her if I could hug her and she said yes. The hug was very long, it was tight, and it felt intimate. It lasted about ten seconds and was waist to waist. I am so confused. What would you be thinking if you were in this situation? Should I report it?