r/actuallesbianseurope

Question for doctors: would you date a poor woman but with an education?

I (23f) recently had a strange experience with one of my professors. During my junior year, I worked with a professor (57M) on a project and had also taken one of his classes the previous semester. My project was about abusive lesbian relationships. To clarify, I am a lesbian myself. Over several meetings this spring, our conversations sometimes drifted away from academics. He talked about personal issues, including problems with his mother, past relationships, and experiences he described as manipulative or traumatic. Sometimes I felt like I was listening to his personal problems rather than discussing my project.

A week later, I met with him in his office to discuss my final paper. The meeting started normally. We talked about the paper, he printed out edits, and we discussed some academic topics. Eventually the conversation became personal again.

At some point she said to me that he preferred men but had not really explored relationships with women, and that he "shouldn't be in a relationship." We continued talking. He discussed past relationships, people who have dumped him, and said he had been "hurt by a lot of women." I never asked him for a relationship. I never told him that I was interested in him.

Toward the end of the conversation, he asked if he could hug me. I said yes. The hug lasted several seconds. HE pulled away slightly, then he kissed me on the mouth. I did not ask him to kiss me and I did not consent to being kissed. I froze and did not know how to react. He stepped back, handed me my paper, and I left.

I did not immediately tell anyone about the kiss. I did tell people about some of the other conversations and interactions. Another professor said to me that this situation raised professional boundary concerns. A friend told me that I "dodged a bullet."

This happened about three months ago and I am still having a hard time processing it. I already filed a formal complaint with the title ix office at my university, and an investigation has been opened. The Title IX intake coordinator told me the allegations fall under sexual misconduct, and I have a meeting with a title ix investigator tomorrow. What concerns me is that this professor has been teaching for many years, and may be tenured. I hope there are consequences.

I’ve searched high and low for the 1% of the 1.5% and it’s kinda lonely >.<

PARIS📍‼️

Iam a creative director. Today I have had scheduled shoot with a lesbian couple that cancelled last minute.
The concept is lesbians being very intimate in the church. It is supposed stand for that lesbian love is not the sin. I have all the clothes, location picked.

Preferably Im looking for actual couple - but any queer girl who would be comfortable with such shoot with another queer girl also. Both cis and trans women, and all races.

No matter who I meet, who I talk to, it feels like everyone is just taken. There are so many great girls I've met along the way, and when I feel like maybe it could turn into something more, I find out they are in a relationship.

Recently had my heart broken by someone who was engaged in an open relationship, so never again. I thought it could work, until it showed that it can't. Apparently, open relationships close real fast sometimes.

Dating apps suck; the girls there either don't respond or are like way too good for me to even try and reach out, lol.

Where does one even find someone these days? I am 28F, and I am tired of being alone. I feel like I have so much love to give, and idk where to put it. I want to meet someone, doesn't even have to be from the same city as long as we get along and hope for that spark. I don't mind the distance; it's not that big of a factor since it can work anyway.

I've been talking to this girl only to find out she has a gf, so I backed off. Where do y'all find women?! 😞

I (23f) started college when I was 20. I recently had a strange experience with one of my professors. During my junior year, I worked with a professor (55F) on a project and had also taken one of her classes the previous semester. Over several meetings this spring, our conversations sometimes drifted away from academics. She talked about personal issues, including problems with her mother, past relationships, and experiences she described as abusive or traumatic. Sometimes I felt like I was listening to her personal problems rather than discussing my project.

At one point I emailed her and asked if she wanted to get coffee. I was going through a lot and having a hard time with school so I was looking for direction. She responded and she declined and said she did not meet with students off campus.

A week later, I met with her in her office to discuss my final paper. The meeting started normally. We talked about the paper, she printed out edits, and we discussed some academic topics. Eventually the conversation became personal again.
At some point she said to me that she preferred men but had not really explored relationships with women, and that she "shouldn't be in a relationship." We continued talking. She discussed past relationships, people who have dumped her,and said she had been "hurt by a lot of women." I never asked her for a relationship. I never told her that I was interested in her.

Toward the end of the conversation, I asked if I could hug her. She said yes. The hug lasted several seconds. While we were still hugging, she kissed me on the mouth. I did not ask her to kiss me and I did not consent to being kissed. I froze and did not know how to react. She stepped back, handed me my paper, and I left.
I did not immediately tell anyone about the kiss. I did tell people about some of the other conversations and interactions. Another professor said to me that this situation raised professional boundary concerns. A friend told me that I "dodged a bullet."

This happened about three months ago and I am still having a hard time processing it. I already filed a formal complaint with the title ix office at my university, and an investigation has been opened. The Title IX intake coordinator told me the allegations fall under sexual misconduct, and I have a meeting with the title ix investigator tomorrow.

What concerns me is that this professor has been teaching for many years, and may be tenured at the university. I am worried about whether my report will be taken seriously.

If ur interested dm meee so we can connect 🫶

Don't be idiots with the people you love.

A few years ago, I shared a house with another woman who behaved strangely towards me, as if she hated me but at the same time felt attracted to me. Despite this, we got along well (we went out several times and even talked about traveling). I would drop hints to her that we would be good together, but she seemed a little uncomfortable. However, when I distanced myself from her, she would come looking for me to talk. I noticed that she was also jealous of me when she saw me with a guy she was seeing or talking about other women. Besides that, I noticed a tension on her part when I was closer to her, or a glint in her eyes when she looked at me. Other times, I caught her looking at me without saying anything. I sometimes felt a certain chemistry between us, but I always thought it was all in my head because she insisted she was straight and even made some homophobic comments that irritated me. It could even be that she liked feeling desired by a bisexual or lesbian woman, and that fed her ego. So I decided to distance myself as much as possible, only speaking to her when absolutely necessary. Since we lived with other people, we could minimize our interaction, which is what I did, especially because I started to like her, and whenever that happens with a straight woman, I distance myself.

But she kept trying to get my attention, and when we were already living in different houses, I mustered up the courage and sent her a message saying that I liked her and that I thought she felt the same way about me. She called me ridiculous, crazy, rude, said I bothered her, and even said that we were never friends and that she didn't want me in her life. I didn't understand why she was reacting like that. Anyway, the more I tried to talk to her, the worse the situation got… I haven't seen her since, but sometimes I still think about her.

Genuine question from a danish masc lesbian living in Oslo.

Dating apps have worked for me before so this isn’t an “apps suck” post however I reach a point where I see the same people over the months.
I also mostly prefer meeting people off the apps literally anything that feels more natural.

But…where are all the femmes?

I swear I’ll be out in Oslo see the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and then spend the next hour wondering if there is any chance in the world she is queer. And Janteloven doesn’t exactly make it easier…

So is there some secret femme radar I missed?

Mascs seem pretty easy to spot but femmes? I genuinely can’t tell. Are you all taken? Hiding? Or is Norway just full of incredibly fashionable straight women confusing the hell out of me?

Mostly curious if anyone else feels the same and if there are places events where queer femmes actually hang out outside of dating apps please tell meh!

Signed
A confused masc 🫡

Soy de Argentina, tengo 14 años. Soy lesbiana y realmente necesito una chica española. Soy cariñosa, alta, ojos verdes, media rubia, estudiosa. Que más queres?? Escribime che

Do you believe in love between people of different social classes?

I don't mean deal-breakers and things that make you wonder if someone is for you, I mean things that instantly make you leave, things you'd pull your friend out of a relationship even if she's kicking and screaming type of red flags.

And bonus points if you tell me some that you think people make too big of a deal about.

Hey guys,

I don’t know what’s up with me but I realized that there’s is kind of like a typical look within the lesbian community, heck I might even have that look and somehow I am into straight women, always the ones that I feel attracted to are the straight ones. I guess I am f***ed.

My last two girlfriends were straight before they met me. I didn’t turned them, that’s BS but they looked pretty straight I would say.

I am also not into over the top femmes with long nails and heavy make up but I can’t help myself.

I guess I am doomed. Anyone can relate?

Hiii! 😁 My GF and I are planning a holiday, we're in an open poly relationship from the UK and are eager to find the best places that we can be ourselves comfortably, has incredible wlw nightlife and a sapphic community who'd want to party with us 😉

Initial plan is Spain but have heard many recommendations for numerous places but wanted to ask here to see if there are other places that can offer us exactly what we're after 😜

I've heard rumours about all girl yought parties in Lisbon 😍 sapphic kink events in Berlin and Amsterdam 🤤 very interesting to hear more. No plans yet set in stone but aiming for September

Edit: If there's a better place for me to ask, repost or subreddits better suited for me please feel free to link below 😊

Hi, I'm posting here and not in a german sub because I don't care for straight people's opinion on the matter, even if it will mean fewer responses. I have been in Germany for some months now and I am very shocked about how little lesbian visibility there is. I haven't faced any discrimination specifically because I am a woman presenting in a masculine way, but I seem to be confused to a man more often here than back home, which eventually means women are sometimes more aware of my presence - which got me thinking that people are really not that used to seeing gnc women / lesbians very often, or are maybe uncomfortable around them? This has made using women's spaces particularly painful for me, which is something I didn't really think about twice in my home country. My question is how progressive is Germany really? Should I be packing my bags and looking for a more accepting destination? I do not want to hide or exclude myself from certain spaces, I do not want to change how I present, how I dress, I do not want to identify as anything other than woman.

For the context, there was very little open persecution of lbgtq people in my country although there are laws criminilizing same sex relationships, but as the country is trying to modernize and attract western foreign invertors we are of course encouraged to hide and accept subtle discrimination in work, in studies, etc. Being in Germany gives me the same vibe from what I have experienced so far. I don't want to invest time and effort settling here if my suspicions are right, and coming here was already a big inverstment. Although a lot of people ( women in particular ) have been really kind and welcoming, but the few incidents ( a woman rolling her eyes at me as I entered the toilet, another rushing out in absolute horror, etc..), these were enough to trigger me and make me question my choice, I know there are laws protecting my rights but if doesn't really make a difference for brief social encounters. I would really like to hear from other german lesbians, what has been your experience? Maybe also from foreign gnc women/lesbians living in germany? Does this have to do more with me being a foreigner and there undeniable social tension at the moment around immigration? btw I am white passing but clearly non-german, and despite wearing men's clothes ( which I do not intend to change ) and having quite a masculine body stature, I find it hard to believe that people will still think I am a man If they looked twice, I'm genuinely confused and don't know what to think.

Hey guys,

anyone interested in getting to know each other and going out together? It's been a while for me and I want to reconnect with the night life.

I'm 30 and very much into sports (running, swimming, cycling, training with weights) and finding a new clothing and hair style.

Helloo☺️

I'm Alice, 21, from Brazil. I realized I'm a lesbian not too long ago, and I'm still discovering this part of myself. I'm learning French and will be moving to France soon as an au pair.

I'd love to make genuine friendships with other lesbians in Europe. Feel free to message me if you'd like to chat! 💕