r/actuallesbianseurope

i’m 19 and honestly curious, ofc i want more friends/ a gf but whereeee?

I live in a city of around 28,000 people and honestly, if I meet more than 10 lesbians, I consider it a miracle lmao. Sometimes it feels like everyone is in the big cities.
I’ve even stopped following girls from bigger cities on Instagram because I immediately think “What’s the point if she probably lives 300 km away?” After some past experiences, I’m honestly scared of getting involved in another long distance relationship.
The most frustrating part is that I live right next to a Spanish city with around 150,000 people. It’s a pretty developed city with basically everything you could need, but socially it still feels quite conservative. So it’s not exactly like I have a huge pool of queer women nearby either.
My dream is honestly very simple. I want to meet the woman of my life, get married and have kids. But sometimes I get scared thinking about the political climate too, especially with the right becoming more prominent in politics. I sometimes genuinely wish I could just be a straight guy who doesn’t have to worry about any of this and can potentially find someone he likes even in a small city :(
I don’t want a long distance relationship, but I also don’t want to move to a big city just to have more chances of meeting a girl.
Does anyone else deal with this? If you live in a small or medium sized city, how do you actually meet other lesbians? Because honestly, I have no idea what to do anymore lmao.

Hi girls! F34, married, wishing to gather a small community to make friends.

Would anyone be up for a drink in Batignolles next Saturday October 10th at 7pm?

The idea is simply to meet and have a nice time with other women who don’t necessarily identify with the political culture that tends to dominate lesbian spaces.

No political debate intended, just a casual get-together and a chance to meet people with similar perspectives.

If you’re interested, feel free to comment !

Hi so I'm from the US and I recently started talking to a girl from france that I met at the lesbian bar in my city in Europe. I'm very nervous and by recent I do mean recent like 2 days ago basically and I just wanted to see if the cultures around flirting or getting to know eachother in Europe are similar to the US? Obviously I know I have the language barrier because shes translating from French->Spanish then I do Spanish-> English so I know that I have to work on that but it's not my main concern.

I would assume the term uhauling applies to lesbians all over the world and I just wanted to ask fellow lesbians who grew up and live in Europe what is a normal "talking stage" like how long is it. Are there things I should know about to expect? The messages have been pretty tame especially since shes the first girl I've ever really talked to outside of my friends but theres been a message or 2 that even some of my friends back home ask how long it's been since we started talking. I only ask because I sont know how quickly or slowly is normal in a friendship/whateveritisship here

I dont want to mess anything up or assume it's all bad and only has one end and I dont want to completely scare her off but also let her know I could be interested in something long term not a hook up or friends with benefits. I'm not very well versed in flirting or internationally doing so, so some advice on cultural dating norms for all of europe but particularly france for lesbians would be VERY helpful. I apologize if this is all over the place I dont exactly know how to ask for help about this!

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I’m gay and would love to meet lesbian, bi/pan women. It would be nice to grab a drink, explore the city, check out a cozy bar or café just wander around and have good conversations.

I’ll be in Amsterdam in December so if you’re around and feel like meeting up, feel free to message me! 😊

No pressure or expectations just looking to make some genuine connections while I’m in Amsterdam.

I had a pretty turbulent relationship with my ex-girlfriend, and one of the stranger things in the whole story was that as soon as she found out that I had a job while studying, she started to expect me to be practically her "ATM".

The problem is that this job wasn't some extra cash that I could spend freely. I was using it to pay for college, food, daily expenses, and everything else that comes with living on my own. What was left I mostly spent on my needs, cosmetics or I would just save up for something I needed.

At the beginning of the relationship, we mostly split everything 50/50, but over time it started to be taken for granted that I would pay for more and more things. In the end, she even accused me of being a "selfish jerk" because I didn't want to spend money on her, questioning what it would be like if we lived together or were married, and whether I would behave the same way then.

People… we were together for only two months. 😭

Of course, I did pay for drinks sometimes, bought groceries for us to make lunch or dinner, offered her emotional support, and made nice gestures without expecting anything in return. The problem was that all of that was somehow completely ignored as soon as I refused to buy something more expensive.

When I finally broke up with her, one of the things she complained about the most was precisely that I "didn't want to spend money on her." As if all my effort, time, emotions, and what I provided in the relationship didn't count at all. It seems completely normal to me that partners sometimes contribute financially more to each other, especially when there's an agreement and mutual understanding. But it’s something completely different when the money from the other person starts to be viewed as something that belongs to you.

So, I'm curious what you all think about this. Have you had similar experiences, especially in lesbian relationships? And where do you draw the line between a partner who likes to treat and a person who starts to expect their partner to support them financially?

What are your most memorable/fun/random (wlw) stories that happened to you while traveling? :D