The first time you flinch after divorce
TW: DV
I (33F)
Him (40M)
Long story short, my marriage ended three years ago when I caught my ex having an affair and beat me until my face was split open and unconscious. Fast forward to now, I’ve gone to therapy almost every single week, divorced my ex husband and met a wonderful man. We’ve been dating for about 5 months and got into our first “argument” this morning. The topic doesn’t really matter but he thought I was ending things. It made him angry enough that he yanked the photos of us in his room down and shoved them in my purse next to me.
For the first time in 3 years, I involuntarily flinched. And then I cried. Hard. I couldn’t stop. He was trying to understand but ultimately was upset and said it felt like I was classifying him under the same ab*ser category as my ex and that I was “punishing him too”.
I thought I’ve talked about everything with my therapist. I thought I’ve had every conversation with other DV survivors. But I was wrong. No one’s ever talked about if and when the first time something in life makes you flinch again. The ptsd that immediately floods you.
My heart hurts.