u/whateverilikehehe

I’m 22 years old female. I’m the oldest of 3 children. And the only one gets hit by belts (leaving me with red marks) to the point some days my parents will search for winter clothes when it’s summer to hide the marks on my body.

They don’t hit my brother because they believe hitting boys will make their personality weak and that it’s okay to hit girls. They don’t hit my sister because just like my brother, they don’t cry loudly but are the ones doing insults.

My so called brother allowed to insult, hit, strangle and put his feet’s on my head forced to lay on floor. They won’t do anything because it means I did something to upset him and it’s okay for men to hit women. I swear they could see him all of the sudden beating and insulting me for fun and will just tell me forget it happened. On the other hand if I say a thing to him from what he always tells me daily he can do whatever he wants to me and they will give me the belt for causing trouble. I still remember the beatings I got for crying because their favorite child hit me. My father said if you complain again I will hit you more. Never told him whenever I got hit by his son again. I’m so scared of belts that I can’t even wear one or look at it without shaking. Mentioning shaking, whenever I shakes while getting hit, it results with my father insulting and hitting me more because according to him I look pathetic while shaking.

Currently I have vacation from university (the one between each year) and I swear even with holidays, even when I have test next day, I get beaten by belts and called words. I’m tired of getting hit and hearing those insults when I’m an adult. I’m no longer a kid you can “discipline”. Crying loudly because my siblings insulted me? I’m the one who gets the belts because according to my parents at least they insulted me calmly while I cried loudly.

I want to live my life. I want to go out and chat with friends. Whenever I ask if they can take me somewhere (got my driving license more than a year yet no car, of course my younger brother have a car since 2 years ago) they would get angry if it was more than 10 min away from my home and keep saying you are lucky we even let you go this one time, no you can’t have fun 2 days in raw, no you can’t go out a lot. They don’t even take me out anywhere. When they want to go to a bring place (mostly them checking on stuff) and I say I don’t want to go guess what? I get hit by the belt and insulted then they will put camera on and leave me alone in home. Saying you don’t have a say in anything, when we go out you go with us whether you like it or not.

With no university to attend, I’m now stuck in my room, getting insults and belts. They want me to dress up like other girls saying why I can’t be like them. Not thinking those other girls don’t have to live in fear of having marks on their body for crying. Called fat/ugly then saying it’s a joke your problem you can’t take it. Those girls have friends to got out with and meet. They ask each other recommendations for makeup and clothes. While here I’m stuck in my room crying. They want me to be like them without giving me their live.

I want to go out more. To meet people and have fun, without thinking of getting hit by belts for having feelings. I want to drive a car (even tho I forgot how since they never got me one). Looking my friends instagram/snapchat. They all go out everyday. I’m not allowed to even go out 2 days in raw and have to beg to go somewhere.

I need serious help. As I’m starting to think of self harm. I’m only afraid it will end with me eventually killing myself. I’m scared of doing so. I asked my parents to take me to therapist but of course they are more worried about updating my brother car and getting him everything he wants. I’m scared of ending up dead, by my own hands.

I want to be able to leave this abusive house and live on my own. Where I won’t be scared of getting belts because I said I don’t want to do something or for showing emotions. Where I will be able to work on myself. I can’t even look at my family and think of them as family members. They feel like strangers.

I’m 22 years old female. I’m the oldest of 3 children. And the only one gets hit by belts (leaving me with red marks) to the point some days my parents will search for winter clothes when it’s summer to hide the marks on my body.

They don’t hit my brother because they believe hitting boys will make their personality weak and that it’s okay to hit girls. They don’t hit my sister because just like my brother, they don’t cry loudly but are the ones doing insults.

My so called brother allowed to insult, hit, strangle and put his feet’s on my head forced to lay on floor. They won’t do anything because it means I did something to upset him and it’s okay for men to hit women. I swear they could see him all of the sudden beating and insulting me for fun and will just tell me forget it happened. On the other hand if I say a thing to him from what he always tells me daily he can do whatever he wants to me and they will give me the belt for causing trouble. I still remember the beatings I got for crying because their favorite child hit me. My father said if you complain again I will hit you more. Never told him whenever I got hit by his son again. I’m so scared of belts that I can’t even wear one or look at it without shaking. Mentioning shaking, whenever I shakes while getting hit, it results with my father insulting and hitting me more because according to him I look pathetic while shaking.

Currently I have vacation from university (the one between each year) and I swear even with holidays, even when I have test next day, I get beaten by belts and called words. I’m tired of getting hit and hearing those insults when I’m an adult. I’m no longer a kid you can “discipline”. Crying loudly because my siblings insulted me? I’m the one who gets the belts because according to my parents at least they insulted me calmly while I cried loudly.

I want to live my life. I want to go out and chat with friends. Whenever I ask if they can take me somewhere (got my driving license more than a year yet no car, of course my younger brother have a car since 2 years ago) they would get angry if it was more than 10 min away from my home and keep saying you are lucky we even let you go this one time, no you can’t have fun 2 days in raw, no you can’t go out a lot. They don’t even take me out anywhere. When they want to go to a bring place (mostly them checking on stuff) and I say I don’t want to go guess what? I get hit by the belt and insulted then they will put camera on and leave me alone in home. Saying you don’t have a say in anything, when we go out you go with us whether you like it or not.

With no university to attend, I’m now stuck in my room, getting insults and belts. They want me to dress up like other girls saying why I can’t be like them. Not thinking those other girls don’t have to live in fear of having marks on their body for crying. Called fat/ugly then saying it’s a joke your problem you can’t take it. Those girls have friends to got out with and meet. They ask each other recommendations for makeup and clothes. While here I’m stuck in my room crying. They want me to be like them without giving me their live.

I want to go out more. To meet people and have fun, without thinking of getting hit by belts for having feelings. I want to drive a car (even tho I forgot how since they never got me one). Looking my friends instagram/snapchat. They all go out everyday. I’m not allowed to even go out 2 days in raw and have to beg to go somewhere.

I need serious help. As I’m starting to think of self harm. I’m only afraid it will end with me eventually killing myself. I’m scared of doing so. I asked my parents to take me to therapist but of course they are more worried about updating my brother car and getting him everything he wants. I’m scared of ending up dead, by my own hands.

I want to be able to leave this abusive house and live on my own. Where I won’t be scared of getting belts because I said I don’t want to do something or for showing emotions. Where I will be able to work on myself. I can’t even look at my family and think of them as family members. They feel like strangers.