u/whateverwhoevencare

Im 44 male, GF 40. GF sister 45 and her husband 46.

I’ve noticed that my GF is close to her brother-in-law. They’re having friends for over 15-20 years, have had lots of prior life before me being in the picture.

When I said close, many years ago, my GF actually helped her sister and brother-in-law with a new baby. They had about 10 years ago, she live with them for about a year. They’ve had tons of other hanging out experiences and memories then back for at least 15-20 years

My discomfort comes from the fact that for example, when they are are in the room, or at a dinner table, wife is very focused on conversation with him, or having a pretty friendly rapport, understandably as they know each other for many years, way before I was in the picture.

Sometimes I feel that they act certain way when they think I’m not watching them. It’s not that it’s an appropriate, it’s just more friendly. Maybe they know that I’m not super comfortable with their closeness and are monitoring themselves.

I know that this sounds like insecurity issues by me, and I certainly understand that. But I’m not sure that I’m OK in a long-term being relationship that two people have to monitor themselves around me as if they’re hiding something or are you aware that their closeness is somehow not appropriate. It just feels wrong

Latest issue is them wanted to go to the beach with the family. Girlfriend wants to be in her swimsuit, even though she’s not gonna go into water. I won’t be there w them but I expressed my discomfort of why she wants to be revealing, even though she’s not going to win the water and she’s upset. She always talks about wanting to go on trips with her sister, brother-in-law, and her kiddos, even when I’m not able to go with them due to work. I understand that she wants to be closer to her family, I just don’t know what to do with my discomfort. I know they had a life in the past, I just have to be OK with my girlfriend and future wife being always closer to her brother-in-law in certain way, and I don’t think I’m gonna be OK with that.

I don’t know if I’m way out of line or I’m allowed to feel a certain weirdness.