Coming to terms with burnout / realising this was never for me
Hi everyone, I’m a computer science graduate (£60k in debt, yes) and I have ~ 3YOE as a SDE (a little more if you include freelancing).
Jumped between a few jobs now and I’ve been at this new place for a few months. Pay is below average but that’s not the issue. The issue is I have trouble waking up every morning and getting myself to do work. It’s painful, physically and mentally exhausting doing this every week. I’ve realised I dislike coding, hate stand ups, don’t enjoy corporate bs… I’m absolutely devastated, because I feel like I’m finally coming to terms - I’ve never enjoyed this career. I don’t have the energy or motivation to learn everyday, I don’t want to keep up with trends, I f**king hate AI and at the same time rely on AI to do a lot of my work for me as I feel so burnt out.
I know some of you will slander me and ask me to git gud or just quit… I think I know that I have to quit. In the last few years (career wise) I’ve never been happy and I feel like work weighs on me so much that it blends in my 5-9 and weekends too! I’m grumpy all the time and don’t have the energy to do anything. Oh and I forgot to mention the amount of “free overtime” I do in my spare time to keep up with deadlines and pressure from above…
Sorry this is starting to sound like a vent more than anything else… but I really need to put it out there as a way of fulling coming to terms with this choice…. The choice of not wanting to continue with this career as a software engineer.
I don’t know what else I’d do with my life and it’s tough to navigate this with absolutely no savings and a mortgage to pay. All I know is that I’m tired and so done with this.
Open to all and any advice. Thank you :’)