I need advice p.1
I had a session with my therapist today. She's a woman I very much hate. I spoke with my mother and she won't do anything in that matter. She's very supportive of me but all she said to the fact that it's not working with my therapist is that "she knows what she's doing.". So today we were talking, I was rather arogant and rude, as I tend to be with her. I'm not proud of it but I don't feel bad. One time she said "you're all cut up." Without any context, later after me crying she said. "What's going on? I said a fact." After that I said I can state facts too and declared that she's ugly.
Now, what's important, today she said that all she sees for me is a psychiatric hospital/closed branch(translated from polish). I told her I will not cooperate the same as I'm not cooperate in normal therapy. We went back and forth and every time I tried to speak more she interrupted me. I began getting mad, tried explaining that I dislike her interrupting me, and mid way she did it again. That pissed me off. I was crying by now, so I tried again. You will never guess what. SHE DID IT AGAIN. I got pissed off shouted something. And told her once again. "I will not cooperate there not will I cooperate here." I know it's stupid but I was getting better when I had a 2 month break from therapy, then a steady decline once I got to know I was going back, and all low once I met that woman I utterly hate. I believe I can get better if I just try by myself. Adults don't believe me (I'm 13) and I do understand that they are on my side and are trying to help yet I know myself and I know this isn't helping me. I tried to cooperate a couple of times. Every single time that woman said something to tick me off. Such as, after me stating, multiple times on various occasions I don't want to speak about my self harm at the moment and I am not ready for it, she started talking about it. I told her I don't want to talk about it and she asked things that just made me feel small and pathetic, like I was treated as a toddler that didn't get a lollipop and now was crying. "Why are you feeling this way?" "This is bringing out some strong emotions on you" "You are behaving inappropriately to the situation " . I hate when people speak to me like that. I don't know how else I'd like it. I do not care. That's why I'd prefer to be taken out of therapy for like 6 months, and if I get better if like that to never come back.