u/wildgewachsen

Some background: I closed the restaurant I ran for seven years, and we decided to move our family from Germany to Australia for good. I flew out first, on my own. My wife and our two young kids follow next month. So right now I'm setting things up alone on the other side of the world.

I expected the logistics to be the hard part. They weren't. The first few days were.

The drive from the airport to where we're headed, I cried almost the whole way. First it was just grief out of nowhere, hitting me that I was alone at the far end of the planet, no kids, no wife, no parents, no friends. Then closer in it flipped to crying out of relief, six months of work finally turning real. I've never been on an emotional swing like that.

The first two or three days weren't good. Grim little room, rain that didn't stop, and for the first time in months, actual quiet to think instead of just grinding through a list. That quiet was the hard part. I realised I'd rushed the goodbyes, especially with my own parents, and I'd give a lot to have taken more time over that. It landed properly that I'll now see the people closest to me every couple of years instead of every week.

The thing that surprised me most: being alone wasn't the little break I half expected. It just showed me how much my family is the actual home, not the place. Sleeping alone, waking up alone, eating alone drove that home fast.

It's not all heavy. The first drive into the hinterland here had me shouting with joy in the car like an idiot. And I'm past the lowest point now, starting to look forward to them landing instead of just missing them.

I'm putting this here because the version people usually post is the arrival photo with a caption about living the dream. This is the other half of it. If you've moved somewhere far on your own, did the first days hit you like this too, and how long until it settled?

Hey,

i‘m a german chef. I did my certificate 3+4 in Australia 9 years ago. Now I want to come back to Australia with wife and kids.

Does anyone have any experience in finding a sponsor as a chef? How is the situation at the moment? Lot of people are telling me chefs are highly wanted which would make the plan much easier. We are also trying to get a 186 because it makes everything easier with school fees and stuff.

Would appreciate any tips, help, experience or advice.

cheers, Chris

Hi all,

Long-time lurker, first post. We're three weeks out from a family move and I'd love to hear from people who've actually done this.

Quick intro: I'm 37 (chef), my wife is 30 (interior architect, master's thesis closing out in July), kids are 6 and 2. We're leaving Germany for the Northern Rivers region in New South Wales, Australia. Both of us lived there about a decade ago. Going back has been an idea for years. Last September it shifted from idea to plan.

We're moving in two waves:

• I fly out on June 23rd, solo. Tourist visa first, on-shore sponsor hunt for permanent residency (I'm a cook, the plan is to find an employer in person).
• My wife and the kids follow July 26th, also on tourist visas. She's submitting her thesis a week before. Two kids, packing the rest of the flat, goodbyes, all on her.

What's done: flights booked, four tourist visas granted, restaurant we ran for seven years closed at the end of last year, a 3-week housesit lined up for July in our target region.

What's not: a sponsor employer, longer-term accommodation, childcare for the 2-year-old, and three to four months of runway before the math gets uncomfortable.

What I keep coming back to:

1. That month apart. We know it's going to be the hardest stretch we've had as a couple. Anyone done a staggered move with small kids? What actually helped you two stay connected when one is already abroad and the other is closing down a household?
2. The 6-year-old gets that we're leaving. He's asked about birthdays, friends, and yesterday told us he wants to "talk to my friend a lot" once we're there. We're handling it as honestly as we can. What did you do that worked? What backfired?
3. The "what we're leaving behind" piece. We're giving up our bikes (cargo bike plus two e-bikes, basically our daily transport). It hit harder than I expected when I rode with the kids last weekend. How did you grieve the small things that don't fit in the suitcase?
4. First 90 days. If you could rewind, what would you do in the first three months on the ground that you didn't?

Not asking for a roadmap. Just trying to surface the stuff we can't see from inside our own preparation.

Cheers.