u/windowsxprules1

I am 25M, and I have had a growing sense recently that I have been living my life on autopilot, and it has caused me to develop a growing sense of dissatisfaction with where I am compared to where I want to be.

The main impetus for this has been prolonged romantic frustration as I have been single for the last eight years, and in that time have been on exactly four dates with three women, none of which went anywhere. The most recent one was seemingly going well, but she ended up ghosting me. I'm past that now, but the sense of being lost has returned.

That dating satisfaction is also starting to grow into career and general life dissatisfaction as well. Our workload increased significantly in the last six months but we still haven't added any extra employees to help handle that (I work in IT), and a few months ago it got so bad that I started to actually have a lot of hair fall out. Now, that thankfully stopped, but the sense of dissatisfaction remains. I have been doing helpdesk for over five years now between this job and my previous one, but I know I am capable of far more. Sadly, the opportunities in my town are limited.

I live in my hometown, a fairly small, medium-size town (for this state) in the south about an hour away from Little Rock, AR. It's a town where religion is deeply ingrained into the town's psyche, and like the rest of the state is very conservative, two things that are significant roadblocks for me as I am neither religious or right-wing. There are progressives here too, I have met a lot of them, but they're not as easy to find, but religion still persists, and most of the women I have talked to are just not interested in seeing someone who doesn't share their faith even if the politics aligns, which I understand and don't hold against them.

I'm also heavy in terms of weight, but although I have been working on that, in terms of social life, I don't get out as much as I used to. While there is more stuff to do here than there used to be, it's still pretty boring. Perhaps moving somewhere where walking and taking public transportation would be a good idea.

I recognize on paper that moving to a larger area in a more forward-thinking state is objectively the right decision economically, but emotionally, deciding whether to do it is difficult. I have been lucky to have a good, strong relationship with my parents, and I live in a multi-generational household with them and my paternal grandparents.

However, although I know they wouldn't mind if I stayed forever, I also feel like I am never going to shake myself out of my complacency provided this safety net exists. I don't come from a family that liked to take risks and preferred to take a cautious, measured approach to life. It kept things stable, for sure, but I also recognize that I want to do more with the potential I have than what I am doing right now.

There's also the financial matter. Right now, I do not own the car I drive. As I still live at home, I typically drive the family car since my parents don't tend to leave the house during the week. I could buy it from them now, but it's also a car from 1998. It has been reliable, but given its age, I don't really trust it as a long-term vehicle.

I have two options: buy a used car now with the money I have saved, or buy an entirely new car at the end of the next calendar year when I am projected to have about four times what I have saved right now. After I have the vehicle to myself, then the question of moving off really becomes the big topic. I can either get an apartment here in town, or take a big leap of faith elsewhere. Given current economic trends, I am somewhat hesitant to do that, but I also recognize that I am sacrificing the best years I will ever have to make these big changes if I do so.

If you were in my shoes, or if you ever were in my shoes, what would or did you do? Would you buy the existing car, get a slightly newer used one, or wait another year and a half to buy a brand new one (I intend to keep a new one running for a very long time, which is why I am considering it). And, once you did that, would you move to a bigger city? If so, where? Part of me keeps thinking about California since I think I would enjoy taking road trips and seeing the natural places out there, but I also recognize the cost of living out there is insane. New York also comes to mind, but costs are also crazy there. There are other towns not quite as large I may consider, even inside the state I'm in, although admittedly that's only a slight improvement.

I thank you for your advice.