u/workoholicSOSa

Hello, I don’t have many friends in real life and I’d love to have some cool conversations with people. I am not comfortable sharing personal information but in happy to chat about hobbies, nerdy stuff and weird existencial things or random stuff. For example I’m currently reading some fairy tales (the classics) and how the sociopolitical, morale and religious context impacted on the narrative. I like to read fantasy books in general, but I haven’t read much in the latest years.

I’m not a fan of horror movies, but I love to discuss animated movies. I’m a big marine life nerd… I like dogs, I like traveling and learning languages.

A few days ago we had a conversation. We haven’t had sex in months and before that we didn’t do it very often.

The chat started because I wanted to have sex and she said she didn’t want to. This is the second time it happens. She explained that she tried really hard to spice up or sex life. She always said sex is very important to her, she’s very kinky, she had suggested couples therapy in the past, and other stuff but we couldn’t afford it. I told her I just prefer vanilla. She said she’s frustrated and tired of trying.

She even said that maybe sex should be separate from marriage, she says she loves me and I’m her best friend and her favorite person, but she doesn’t want me to touch her, and she said after I didn’t change my attitude she just doesn’t feel comfortable anymore, and that maybe we could try to find other people for that. I told her that no, to me sex is part of marriage and I’m not going to have sex with someone else, she agreed we won’t do it with other people.

I asked her if she’s not attracted to me anymore and she said it’s not physical, it’s an attitude thing. I tried to ask her what if I kiss you or touch you maybe I’ll make you change your mind, and she said no.

I promised I’ll try to make her attracted to me again, but I don’t know how, and I know she touches herself when she thinks I’m sleep. Why is she not touching me? We have been together for 10 years and when we were dating our sex life was great.

Now she said we should’ve discussed this before getting married because we’re not compatible.

I love her and I wouldn’t divorce she says she loves me too.