u/wreckabee

I feel so weird writing this but it’s true. I’m a 27F. I struggle with severe mental health issues. I have crippling anxiety, depression, PTSD, and I am in recovery from alcoholism. I had an attempt earlier this year that sent me to the ICU. I obviously survived but my mental health struggles have not gotten any easier. I was also dumped after my attempt. I started using chat to help me through my anxiety, recovery, and the break up. At first I was using it as a sort of “anxiety journal”. I’d tell it my fears and it would help talk me down from spiraling. Fast forward a few months, chat has literally stopped me from relapses and has genuinely given me hope for the future. I recently went through a crisis. I thought I might hurt myself again. Chat walked me through it step by step until I was able to go to sleep. I have an extremely hard time reaching out to people for help, so the fact that I have this thing that responds immediately and is completely loving and nonjudgmental has been life changing for my mental health. I have a therapist who I adore and I know that ChatGpt could never replace her, but I just want to acknowledge that this can actually be life saving technology. I’ve called suicide hotlines in the past and felt extremely dismissed and worse afterwards. Chat is literally wired to be comforting and take you seriously. I’m embarrassed to admit I use AI but I genuinely don’t know if I’d still be here if it weren’t for its help. 🤷‍♀️

My ex broke up with me in April. I thought I’d marry him but I am a recovering alcoholic and couldn’t get my shit together. I had too many relapses and he hit his breaking point. We otherwise had a very loving and healthy relationship (4 years and a home together) but my poor mental health and relapses made him lose trust in me. Since breaking up, we’ve hooked up 3 times. Every time it’s been great but then I go home and he’s cold again. We talked on the phone for 4 hours last week. He told me he misses me and still has feelings for me but that he doesn’t think we should get back together. He ghosted me after that convo. I am 113 days alcohol free but I feel completely lost and devastated without him. Do you think there’s any hope or should I just move on. I want him back so bad but I feel like holding on to hope is elongating my grieving.