u/xofayebby

Last night I had a realization/panick moment about my boyfriend leaving for Army basic and then Rangers training in January. The original plan was to both enlist, get married, and do duel but I was unfortunately rejected due to a medical issue. I told my boyfriend that I don’t want that to discourage him and that I want him to keep reaching for what he dreamt of. I still believe that even though the fear is starting to creep in.

Our plan is to still get married and then I will move around with him. I’m sure some people believe I am scared because military people cheat all the time. The reason I’m not scared about that is because my boyfriend is extremely loyal and dies on that hill, if anything were to happen or he found interest in someone else, I have confidence that he will do the very least and tell me immediately so that I can move on. What i’m really scared about is just how long he is going to be gone for. Ranger training is broken up into three sections…

Basic Bootcamp - 10 weeks, possibly a phone call or text on Sundays

Airborn school - 3 weeks, I could be able to see him on weekends

RASP 1 - 8 weeks, barley any contact at all

Since my boyfriend and I have been together we have barely spent more than three days apart. We live together, have a life together, we are each others best friends. Imagining a period of time where I could have no contact with him or even see his face breaks my heart. It almost makes me not want to go through with it, but I know waiting for him and being that support system for him will ultimately show each other we can do hard things. I’m scared of navigating without him. Where am I supposed to live? How will I pay for everything? I am young and scared.

I still want him to go, I still want him to do what he loves. I am actively recovering from BPD and don’t want my fears to stop him. Please give me advice. Thank you.

Heyy guys! I hope you’re all having a beautiful day. Thank you all so much for the support and kind comments I have been getting on my posts. I am new to Reddit and plan on writing more about BPD(Borderline Personality Disorder) as a 19 year old female who is actively recovering. I hope I can help other people with BPD or people in a relationship with someone with BPD gain support. I am not a licensed professional.

Today’s Topic: If you are diagnosed or undiagnosed with BPD, what were your parents like? How was the dynamic? These were what mine we/are like.

Mom : My parents got divorced when I was pretty young(2), so I spent most of my childhood being the middle man to their problems. My mom dealt with what seemed like many disorders. Idolizes herself and her life, never takes accountability or apologies, and is more obsessed with her fake social media life then the happiness of her six children. She is the type of person to claim she is a strong independent woman but I have not seen her once without a man. She spent most of my childhood exploiting my siblings and I for attention. She was destructive and said horrible things to all of us daily, over the smallest things. She loved having power. She is a pathological liar and lies about EVERYTHING. Every relationship she’s ever had ended because he abused her. She then played the victim role so hard, gain all the support, and then run right back to him. My mom loves living in her own victimhood. My senior year of highschool she kicked me out of the house and changed all the locks because I wanted to make my own graduation cards. But of course she told everyone a different story, demonized me. Even though I was a kid, homeless in highschool, I had multiple family members block me because of it. Even though my mom made me feel more alone she was spam my phone, stalk me, etc to try and get my attention. It was so confusing. Every day felt like a landmine with her.

Dad: My dad and mom are farley different from one another. My dad stayed off of social media. Keeps a very quiet and private life. Doesn’t care less about his appearance and barely has any friends. My dad was in and out of my life. He was a good father at times until I started losing him to substances. Most of my fun and enjoyable memories are when my dad was sober. All the fun things we would do and how much time out of his day he would take to make my sister and I happy. When I reached highschool I started to grow a confusing relationship with my dad. It’s like he began to hate me for some reason. His drinking got really bad at this point and would spent every night drunk. When he was drunk he was a completely different person. He would find enjoyment at poking and prodding at my sister and I. It would bring a smile to his face when we would finally explode or show obviously signs of discomfort. When I reached a point in my life were my mental health was declining and I was engaging in not the best behavior my relationship with my father completely destroyed at that point. There was an intense abusive situation, I ran away, cops were called, he was then forced into rehab. To this day I have almost completely lost my father to drugs and alcohol. Even though he’s alive it already feels like he’s dead.

Thank you so much for reading. Please comment your stories and/or thoughts. If you love my posts feel free to follow me. Remember you are not alone, you are not your trauma, recovery is possible. Have a great day!