u/youcantfoolgrandma3

Disclaimer: there is no actual entertainment of the idea of (trigger word in black)>!suicide!<, but there might be a triggering sentence in here and I have to warn everyone. You can stop now while you are ahead, if you are worried.

A long time ago, over 20 years ago, I was naive and thought that this one particular woman (a friend at the time) would have sympathy for me being lonely. Sometime during the course of the conversation, she mentioned how women can survive without men more easily than men without women.

I don't care what she says, I feel like I can't survive. I mean, if this is what someone is going to tell me when I'm so lonely (I was this bad even then), then I don't want to be their friend anymore. I'm not her friend anymore for other reasons, anyway, so it kind of "worked itself out" without any effort on my part.

I'm not here to push the narrative that you can't survive without a partner, as women. I want everyone to hang in there (even though I can't, lol). I am, however, trying to emphasize that if you are a woman and feel this kind of loneliness, it should be our right to say so without being told that men have a harder time surviving without a partner than we do.

For the sake of the discussion, assume for a second that you go to church (even if you don't go). Also assume that you have only two choices: feeling debilitatingly alone when coming home after church or hanging out with fake friends after church who don't acknowledge or think about you otherwise.

I find the second option detestable, but I suffer from (triggering spoiler underneath the black) >!a certain kind of ideation!< at the thought of going home alone and eating alone and having no one to talk to at dinnertime/nighttime.

Shouldn't it be an easier choice to be alone than to be around phonies?

Edited to add: I don't go to an Evangelical church, but it doesn't mean that every other church is OK just because it's not Evangelical (I think we know that).

Granted, he's unavailable but I probably didn't do a good enough job concealing that I like him. I'm quite reserved but who knows what vibe I gave off. There's a hallway he almost always walks down in order to leave the building because his car is next to that entrance/exit (I happened to be going out of the building that way but at the time, I hadn't yet seen him in the hallway). Instead, he takes another exit from the opposite end of the hallway, and walks outside to the car instead. It was at least 95 degrees outside, so I can't imagine him wanting to do this. It could be just sheer coincidence but I'm a really sensitive person and it feels insulting.

This isn't the first time I've sensed this though. There was a time where we were close enough to the same door IMHO such that he could have waited for me and held it for me, but he chose not to. He saw me too, so it's not like he was oblivious.

I looked up the definition of Sola Scriptura, and one of the things that stood out to me was that it is supposedly "the ultimate court of appeal, even above church councils or leaders." (an AI definition)

Ok, how can it be above church councils/leaders when it's the Church councils/leaders who had to determine which books (of the Bible) were considered divinely inspired/warranted to be put in the Bible in the first place?

That would make the Church the higher authority than the Bible, wouldn't it?

Another one was "Essential teachings of Scripture are clear and understandable to ordinary believers."

Acts 8:31 suggests that the Ethiopian eunuch benefited from one of the Apostles, Philip, explaining the Scriptures to him, which meant that the Ethiopian eunuch had some difficulty "reading the Scriptures for himself and understanding them on his own."

Unfortunately, making a grandiose gesture of defiance isn't going to accomplish anything. I get that. I'm not a confrontational person and am just one person among hundreds or perhaps thousands. I just wish, that in THEORY, our grievances with whatever church (or people in it) would make at least a dent in the establishment, and yet those who are adversely impacted by their churches find it best to just leave. Mind you, this isn't just in an Evangelical church. I've experienced this in a Catholic church too (the "enemy" of Evangelical Christianity).

I'm someone who has struggled with "ideation" from being single (long story very short). I got very triggered by what a pastor had said about those who don't get married, so triggered that it's been 2 weeks and I'm still having crying urges about it. He basically said that there are 3 ways in life: to join a religious order, become a spouse, or die a wasteful death. Unfortunately I haven't found anyone at that church who has any issue with what he said. It drives me bonkers. One pastor at another church, who I asked about this, didn't seem to have any problem objecting to his statement; therefore I felt a bit more sane not being the only one.

A second thing is, I think that this lady is no longer including me in her list of people she does hangouts with. Long story short it cuts like a knife. I don't know if what I'm perceiving is reality, and I do feel I have a right to ask her about it, even though I've been told to leave it alone.

A third situation - a lady who seemed so welcoming, so accommodating; well we had a supposedly great conversation and we exchanged contact info but when I wanted to talk to her about what the pastor said (in the first paragraph), she ignored my text and ghosted me. She didn't even ask me what was wrong. I think she was one of those fakes. If she ever sees me in person again and tries to give me a spin on why she never answered, I'm tempted to tell her that I don't believe her.

The reason why this is causing me such a visceral, prolonged reaction is that the church family may end up being the only family I have because I don't have relatives (long story, once again, short). If the church "family" at one church fails, I am back at square one. In fact, I think I AM back at square one. But I feel that every church will be the same.

How long can it take to recover from this pain? I don't see an ending. I have managed not to attend Sunday services there for the 4th consecutive week, but the pain is still there.

Does anyone think that the sodas from the company tend to be more carbonated than the sodas from the other companies? In general, I mean.

(That doesn't mean there can't be exceptions within the company, or a similarly carbonated beverage in another company. For example, it's debatable whether or not RC Cola is as carbonated as Coke)

I know, this post may not be well-received, but neither Pepsi nor Coke is going to appeal to absolutely everyone. Someone is bound to not like one or the other, or both. Or, someone may like both.

I haven't had regular soda in years, and I was doing some taste tests of my own. I wish it was more economical, though, because I can't exactly buy single cans, but anyway. About the Pepsi, I have a question. Pepsi fans may not be crazy about it, sorry - but when regular Pepsi first hits my tongue, I detect a ginger-ish taste to it. The ginger-ish taste doesn't last forever, it dissipates quickly, but I definitely notice it upon first impact. Is this how it tastes for anyone out there? I can't find a definitive answer to this question. I do know, however, what when I tried Pepsi Zero a few years back, I experienced the same taste.

Is it just me? It can't be just me.

On the one hand, you may hear pastors talk about the importance of marriage and how it's so important because it represents the love that Christ has for his Church or something like that. They make a huge deal of it but - and here is the big but -

When you express that same desire for marriage yourself, you are met with responses that are kind of like,

- Marriage is not what you should be seeking, it's the kingdom of God

- Your focus should be on Jesus, he's the only one who can satisfy that longing that a spouse can't

You can be so lonely and actually want a spouse but when it's you yourself who expresses that desire, the narrative becomes the opposite and they downplay the "importance" of marriage to you.

p.s. I wish I could edit the title to "some Christians" but I think it's more than just some of them. Maybe not all, but they are definitely out there.