u/yourdreams-unwind

I miss my life. I miss how my body used to be. I miss being able to wear makeup. I miss being able to drink coffee and eat chocolate. I miss being able to travel. I miss being able to get my hair done. I miss being able to go out and not react to perfume even from 50 ft away outside. I miss being able to put things on my skin. I miss my career that I had to give up. I was a D1 athlete and now can barely run.

My MCAS has become severe and progressively worsened over the past few years. I was just in a severe flare for over a year. No medication really puts a dent in symptoms. I find the medicine is far behind and lacking. I am only 31 and have already been dealing with this for 5 years. Doctors seem completely lost.

Sorry to be a downer, but this has just really been getting to me lately.

Does anyone else have burning nerve pain? I constantly have searing burning nerve pain in the back of my head/neck that goes down my back, and often I have it in my thighs and chest too. My eyes are also extremely sensitive and my sense of smell/taste are very heightened.

It’s been like this since I had Covid 4 years ago and nothing really helps with the nerve pain.

For those of you who lived with yours - did moving in exacerbate their behavior, or were things calm(ish) for a while? Is there anyone whose pwBPD seemed "fine" prior to moving in and then moving in with them seemed to cause the mask to drop?