u/zaririi

Discussion from my YouTube podcast with a middle-aged married woman (Gen X) discussing the effects of feminism on young women and men.

I am currently unemployed and on benefits. I grind my teeth heavily at night which I suspect is due to my antidepressants (coming off them is not an option).

I bought a standard soft mouthguard last year for £250. I chewed through it so bought a new one which cost £300. I have had this one for a week and now need to get another one. I will likely need a hard acrylic guard, and am not sure how much this is going to cost.

Is this a standard price? Unfortunately my dentist does not do any discount for people on benefits as it is private.

I am based in London, UK, and am a 28F.

Feminists would have us believe that women historically were oppressed and passive. This is actual nonsense. Women use psychology, subtext and subtle cues to navigate life, including getting the man they want to come after them, while still making him think it was his idea.

Such is an example of covert feminine power.

This short video illustrates the concept of "dropping the hankerchief"; how in Victorian England (for example), a woman would see an attractive man, walk past him, "accidentally" drop her hankerchief, and then prompt him to pick it up, run after her, and then start a conversation.

The world of women is generally built around indirectness rather than directness. This is why two females can smile at each other and compliment one another, while secretly despising the other. Female psychology is fascinating, albeit maddening for those who may struggle to understand it (including other women).

What are some modern examples you can think of in dating that women can use to "drop a hankerchief"?

Modern (feminist) media often quietly reframes “successful woman” into “feminist icon,” even when the woman herself never used the label. Historically, many high-achieving women were driven more by discipline and personal ambition than by feminist ideology. If you look up any successful, talented woman, there is always a debate around whether or not she was a feminist.

Here is a comprehensive list of accomplished women, past and present, who either never identifed as a feminist, or openly rejected the label. Some of these women may be considered feminist icons today, but none of these women actually called themselves feminists, or if they did, came to reject the label of feminist. We have got to stop calling any talented self-sufficient woman “a feminist”. Feminist doesn’t mean “successful woman”. A feminist is someone who actively identifies with the label, and seeks to challenge what they consider to be the male-dominated patriarchy.

Click here to see what a feminist is
Click here to see if you identify as a feminist

If you happen to know any accomplished women who are/were not feminists, comment below and I will add them to this list. This is real women’s history.

Female Leaders

Hatshepsut (ruled Egypt 1478 B.C. – 1459 B.C.)
Cleopatra (Queen of the Ptolemaic Kingdom of Egypt from 51 to 30 BC)
Wu Zhao (Ruler of Tang Dynasty China (690-705 BC)
Catherine the Great (Empress of Russia from 1762 to 1796)
Boudicca (Queen of the Ancient British Iceni Tribe)
Empress Theodora of the Byzantine Empire
Zenobia (Warrior Queen of Palmyra in the 3rd Century)
Empress Dowager Cixi (Empress of China's Qing Dynasty)
Yaa Asantewaa (Warrior Queen Mother of Ejisu)
Isabella 1st (Queen of Spain in the 1400s)
Queen Victoria (Queen of the UK from 1837-1901)
Queen Elizabeth 2nd (Queen of the UK from 1952-2022)
Indira Ghandi (President of India from 1966-77)
Margaret Thatcher (Prime Minister of Britain from 1979-1990)
Joan of Arc (Military leader and Patron Saint of France)
Ameenah Gurib-Fakim (President of Mauritius from 2015-2018)
Golda Meir (Prime Minister of Israel from 1969-1974)
Giorgia Meloni (Prime Minister of Italy from 2022)
Sanae Takaichi (Prime Minister of Japan from 2025)

Females in STEM, Medicine, & Aircraft

Sofia Ionescu (Romanian neurosurgeon)
Grace Hopper (American computer scientist)
Marie Curie (French physicist)
Alice Ball (African-American chemist)
Florence Nightingale (English nurse)
Asli Hassan Abade (Somali pilot)
Harriet Tubman (African-American nurse and civil rights activist)
Elizabeth Blackwell (British & American physician)
Nettie Stevens (American geneticist)
Maryam Mirzakhani (Iranian mathematician)
Amen Aamir (Pakistani pilot)
Gerty Cori (Czech-American biochemist)
Rosalind Franklin (English chemist and X-ray crystallographer)
Wang Zhenyi (Chinese astronomer)
Valerie Thomas (American data scientist and inventor)
Debra Soh (American sexologist and neuroscientist)
Layah Heilpern (English crypto investor)

Females in the Arts & Humanities

Ayn Rand (Russian-American writer & philosopher)
Hypatia (Ancient Greek mathematician, theologian, and philosopher)
Brigitte Bardot (French actress & model)
Marilyn Monroe (American actress & model)
Caro Emerald (Dutch singer)
Miriam Makeba (South African singer and civil rights activist)
Grace Jones (American singer, dancer and performing artist)
Frida Kahlo (Mexican painter)
Agatha Christie (English author)
Maria Callas (American-Greek Opera singer)
Sylvia Plath (American poet)
Jane Austen (English author)
Janice Fiamengo (Canadian English professor)
Hedy Lamarr (American actress and technological innovator)
Rita Hayworth (American actress)
Cassie Jaye (American filmmaker)
Suzanne Venker (American author)
Erin Pizzey (English social worker and author)
Mona Charen (American author)
Saba Douglas-Hamilton (Kenyan wildlife conservationist)
Enya (Irish singer)
Joan Didion (Writer and journalist)

There was a post someone posted here a short while ago asking about JK Rowling. I understand that she is a feminist and many have mixed views about her views on trans people. However, a lot of feminists don't like or agree with her because of her views, and a lot of non-feminists support her.

She is a successful, talented woman who is still a role model for many. I would like to highlight her as an example of someone who is against modern wokeism but also a successful woman. I understand not everyone here may be in agreement, so we can vote on it. We either allow posts about her or we do not.

EDIT: This poll is now closed. Posts about JK Rowling are allowed, as long as they are not promoting feminism nor attacking transgender people. A rule about this has been created for this sub.

View Poll

Sylvia Plath has long been cited as a feminist writer. However, this paper discusses how she actually was not writing from a feminist position, nor can she be characterised as feminist. She wrote for self-fulfilment. Her writing anxiety came from a fear of poverty and loss of inspiration. Plath was not writing to fulfil some feminist need. She was writing to fill the need of an artist.

This is an online magazine I found recently that is kind of doing the stuff I was thinking we could do long-term. They discuss women's issues and femininity without supporting feminism. Great stuff, deffo worth checking out. I will also be contacting them about submitting to them.

Feminists often say that society doesn't care about female suffering, or any sort of abuse against women. I would actually agree with this to some extent, but in a different way:

Society generally doesn't know how to handle people suffering from abuse or trauma in general. As someone who has gone through a lot, including sexual violence, I will say that most people have no idea how to respond or react to that. A lot of people imagine rape as something that happens down a dark alleyway, even though most cases of sexual violence come from someone the victim already knows.

Contrary to what feminists think, most women are not abused. People generally don't live lives full of trauma. Most people actually don't suffer from clinical depression or C-PTSD. I personally know women (and men) who have gone through similar things to myself, but when I talk to the average person, they look blank and confused, like they have no clue what to say.

Society doesn't care about male abuse, male suffering, or females who have been abused (including emotionally/psychologically) by other females. We don't talk about abusive or dysfunctional friendships. Most people assume everyone enjoys being a kid and has loads of friends and everything is fine, because the average person experiences life this way.

I think we have a social problem of simply not knowing how to handle people who are genuinely traumatised, and not knowing where to place them in society. I am glad there has been a greater conversation around mental health over the last decade, and want it to keep growing. Talking through things helps a lot, and makes others feel less alone.

I love to both read, watch, and write fiction. I really cannot stand the phrase "strong female character" or "strong woman". I'm sick of it now. We never talk about men this way and use phrases like "strong male character". There are men who are complicated, insecure, hopeless, and down on themselves. Men like Holden Caulfield; the narrator from Fight Club, Charles Bukowski's Henry Chinaski, or Connell from Normal People. These are all flawed men.

Because of feminism, we have this obsession with how women are perceived in fiction. Why not just let women be portrayed as the story demands of it? I have written about all kinds of women: resilient, brave women; insecure, neurotic women, evil women, nasty women, kind women, broken women. I think there are many ways to portray people and it depends on the story and how it's going.

Sometimes it's fascinating to see a story where the woman isn't necessarily a "strong female character". She might be highly insecure, troubled, anxious, or struggling in some way. What's wrong with that? Why do female heroines all have to be "strong"?

An example I can give is freida in Louise O'Neill's Only Ever Yours. That book is a feminist book, but I think it portrays women and the female experience very well. It displays girl-on-girl cruelty and nastiness, and we see how females treat each other within that sort of environment. For me, the worst characters (megan and chastity-ruth) are female. They're very well-written and realistic.

freida, the heroine, is written as unlikeable. I actually liked her a lot because I had a lot of sympathy for her and thought she was very realistic within the context of the novel. I don't see why we have to read a book about a woman who is like Katniss Everdeen. Sometimes messy heroines are more interesting.