u/zboo1h

I'm a man who is relatively neurotypical and I just re-entered the dating world a few months ago. I happened to meet this young woman who disclosed to me on the first date that she has autism. I think she said it was level 1.

The date went really well, good chemistry, good conversation. We both opened up like you do on a good date when you get past the "So how much do you hate your job?" questions. There's some good compatibility there as far as long term goals and aspirations. She said at one point, and it really stuck with me, that she "really enjoys the way I share my feelings". It was a very sweet thing to me but also the way she said it was very interesting, like her whole demeanor temporarily changed and got more "serious", like it was something very important to say.

She told me about how she works 70-80 hours a week. Her job is very intense, and she's the lead supervisor there. She tells me she is BURNED. OUT. And wants to work less and be a mother.

Anyway the date ended with a hug from her and a kiss on the cheek from me.

I'm old enough and experienced enough to be able usually to predict the outcome of a date, and so I just texted her when I got home that I had fun and I'd love to do it again sometime. To my surprise she told me she wanted to think about another date. In my experience, again, this means No, thanks. It's very polite and maybe a little immature but hey, whatever, no hard feelings.

But a couple days later I shot her a text just wishing her well. She told me she's struggled to eat lately from depression and just feeling burned out at work so I told her I hoped she managed to eat lunch today. I went and got busy with my own projects after that. When I checked my phone an hour or so later, to my surprise she had hit me immediately back and... gave me a nickname?

Let's pretend my name is Steve. She said Hi, Sweet Steve, and proceeded to tell me all about what she was eating and how she hadn't had lunch and then asked me how my day was. I responded and also asked her how she had been lately and ... no response.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any tips for dating an autistic woman like this. I've got my own "plan", I'm just going to keep it going and see if she wants to catch a movie or help me with planning a painting project for my house (she loves painting).

I can't tell you how happy it made me for her to call me Sweet Steve. I don't like to talk to/date more than one woman at a time because I know from past experience that it doesn't serve me well, I just end up diluting myself it feels like and I can't concentrate on the one person. I'd like to pursue this until its end, and any advice would be appreciated. I'm totally in uncharted territory, here.

Thank you!

Some time before I met my ex I was confiding in a friend something that I hate about the current meta of relationships. People send each other nudes and in the context of relationships they make phone porn of each other. Totally normal human behavior. But what about when it's over?

Everyone healed and moved on, okay. So now you're dating a girl and three or seven other guys out there have videos of her blowing them and you're kissing her on the forehead. It's fucked up. It's real. It's just normal human behavior.

I want the strength to delete everything off of my phone, I don't want to be one of these guys with pictures and videos of some other guy's girl. I want to set her "free". But every time I go to delete them I just see her wonderful body and beautiful face and there's no way I can get rid of that. She stirs such passion in me, she's so graceful and perfect. Her physical configuration is immaculate.

The 2nd date was in her parents' hot tub while they were away. I remember seeing the curve of her neck and her tied-up hair and thinking to myself "Oh, I'm already in love". I could barely bring myself to kiss her that night, I was terrified of how attracted I was to her. I was coming out of a time of solitude and bad romance and here was this absolute angel who just wanted to sit closer to me and hold my hand. And her neck, man. I can't get over that image in the moonlight.

Does anyone have any thoughts about this?

Thanks for reading my vent. Hope you all heal as fast as you want to. And if not I hope you all heal anyway, eventually.

This is an angry post. I'm angry now. I'm tired of being sad. Please don't read this if you don't want to hear some vile venom spewed.

I spent 30 something days being sad and insolvent. Unable to function unable to feed myself unable to sleep. Coping extra hard with drugs and seeking sex with strangers to distract myself.

Your opinions are so fucking stupid. You are fucking brainwashed. You are a fucking idiot. A fucking loser at 30 relying on your parents to save you from yet another stupid fucking decision.

Remember when you dropped out of fucking college because you got dumped? Left your poor parents to pay tens of thousands of dollars of debt with NOTHING to show for it.

Remember when you left after we bought this house together? I'm so fucking glad we didn't let you put your fucking name on the title. I would rather burn it down than let you have any of it. Remember when your POOR FUCKING PARENTS had to make up your side of the down payment because you're a fucking broke loser? They're never getting that fucking money back. Almost ten grand, gone.

What do you have now that you left? Some old dogs that you treat better than humans? Your fucking poor parents that you have to live with now because you do a job that NOBODY wants that doesn't pay shit and you do NOTHING BUT WHINE and NOTHING to improve your situation.

So where is everyone now? I get to be in this ghoulish state, chomping on rage and grief and losing weight and sleep? You get to go live with your parents again? You get to escape your own bad fucking decisions again? Is this better for everyone involved? Your fucking parents have to continue to raise a 30 year old loser, everyone is more broke and mentally damaged now, and at least you're "free" from the "abuse" of being held accountable. Wow, great job! Really worth losing two fucking years of our lives together!

I told you in the shower one time, looking you right in your big beautiful eyes: If we met 10 years ago we would absolutely hate each other. All these things you believed then, I would have made fun of you and ghosted you. I never would have given you anything besides an insult and a block for your ignorant fucking retarded ass childish ass opinions about the world and EVERYTHING STUPID THAT YOU BELIEVE.

I pray for fucking any man that buys your bullshit. Any codependent man with mommy issues and a NEED to throw himself in front of ENTIRE FIRING SQUADS for a troubled woman who cannot fucking make good decisions JUST LIKE HIS MOTHER.

You let me fuck you way too quickly and you sent nudes way too fast. You probably did that right after you left. You claim you moved on already and it doesn't surprise me. You will go from one bad idea to the next, one stupid fucking impulse tattoo to the next, one cock to the next, and you'll be my age soon.

Teeth rotted out of your skull, breath stinking like fucking mcdonalds and cigarettes.

What the FUCK did I ever see in you besides your body? What the FUCK was I doing with someone like you?

Fuck off already out of my subconscious. I'm done with you. Go get some more fucking child-replacement dogs and tattoos you piece of loser trash.