u/ziewezo

Deze zomer komt er voor het eerst iemand 10 dagen housesitten. We hebben namelijk katten en kippen die wat zorg nodig hebben. Het is een vriendin die haar laatste zomer op kot zit; bij ons heeft ze heel wat meer ruimte voor zichzelf.

Toch willen we graag iets geven. Ik vind hierover alleen maar threads op Amerikaanse subs waar ze spreken over wel 100 dollar per dag, maar mijn vriend en ik zijn nog jong, sparende, en dat lijkt ons echt veel. Anderzijds willen we niet profiteren van haar. En het haar vragen, tja, dan krijg je gewoon een Vlaamse “Ma nee manneke da moe ge nie doen!”

So my partner (29M), my brother-in-law (26M) and my sister (23F) all have their birthday around this time of year. As my partner and I are almost going on vacation, I called my mom this morning asking if we could celebrate with a cake tonight. (We all live very close to each other.) She happily said yes and suggested that we had diner together too. That was not really my intention as the fridge has to be empty before our holiday, but I agreed. She would go to the supermarket, she said, and buy everything. I thanked her and went on with my day.

EDIT: I called her to ask if she was free, not to get a cake for me. Of course I offered to get the cake, but mom refused since she would go grocery shopping for the dinner anyway. My family jokes that I’m addicted to supermarkets, so really, it would not have been a problem for me to go.

When we arrived at my parents’ they had put the barbecue on and we had a great time. However, sitting at the table, my mom suddenly mentioned that “all the cakes were sold out”. I thought she was joking: we have many supermarkets with many cakes! Why would they all have been sold out on a normal week day? She gestured me to follow her inside. But she wasn’t joking: she told me to put the candles on a piece of foam. She saw the disappointment in my eyes and became rather defensive, saying that my stepdad was the one who went grocery shopping and that he told her too late. I replied something like “Someone should have just called me and I would have gone to any store necessary to find a cake.” Mom: “You should be grateful for the diner we had.” Me: “I wanted to eat cake for the birthdays.”

Nothing too serious, I know, and I wasn’t angry at my mom at all. Just disappointed. Although I really care about those things and I know that my partner does too (although he would never complain to me about a missing cake).

Now here’s the thing: I just received an angry message from my stepdad. He does that sometimes - sending a message instead of saying it to my face. But this time he made a group chat with my sister, to whom I did not mention anything about my disappointment by the way. He is calling me ungrateful and asking me to stay home in the future if I intend on ruining the evening. I think that’s way too much, but I’m not sure how to respond. I also don’t know if I am the asshole. We did get nice food, as we often do, and I am spoiled in that regard. Without that message I would have probably forgotten the cake thing by next week… But now? Pff.

TL;DR I planned a quick birthday cake get-together at my parents' house, but my mom insisted on hosting dinner and buying the cake. At the party, there was no cake: my mom told me to put the candles on a piece of foam instead because the store was "sold out." When I expressed disappointment, she got defensive, and now my stepdad has sent an angry message calling me ungrateful and telling me to stay home next time. I’m not sure if I'm the asshole or how to respond.

Fifi dropt een drol ter grootte van een knikker en héél “Je bent van Essene als” moet ervan weten. Hooivorken en fakkels! Dreigementen en scheldwoorden! Patrick zegt: “Ik weet wie je bent!” en “Ik zal eens komen kakken op uw luiweg gebetonneerde of beklinkerde straatreep!

Maar paardenmeisjes Elise-Marie en Charlotte die elke dinsdag- en donderdagnamiddag 4 kilo paardenstront achterlaten op de baan én het voetpad én het fietspad? Zwerm strontvliegen voor de deur, kak tot aan uw velgen als ge niet tijdig gezigzagd hebt, uw gerolstoelde oma die een omweg van 3 kilometer moet maken omdat ze er niet langs kan… Dan is het ijzig stil.

First they ignored paardenstront, and I did not speak out, because I lived in a boerendorp…

Dus stel dat er iemand aan een kruising de snoeter + boezem van z’n wagen op de straat poneert omdat hij zijn remorque moet uitladen - hypothetisch! - dan is dat best gevaarlijk! Dan mag je (kort) claxonneren.

Als die persoon dan twee minuten later opduikt in je achteruitkijkspiegel aan tientallen kilometers per uur te veel en met de toeter onophoudelijk ingedrukt -hypothetisch! - om je daarna - hypothetisch! - aan de zone 30 voorbij te vlammen en zo bijna zijn remorque aan flarden te kapseizen, dan is het enige gevaar dat dreigt… Die persoon.

Fijne zaterdag! Ik ga werken.