u/zustinzieberr

Accepted dream job (background check pending), but starting another job on Mon…. How to handle?

I’m in a pretty crazy (and fortunate) situation where I’ve received three job offers within a couple of weeks, and I’m trying to figure out the right way to navigate it.

Here’s the situation:
**Job #1:** Accepted about two weeks ago. I’m supposed to start this coming Monday.
**Job #2:** Received the offer last week and had until today to decide. I declined it today.
**Job #3:** By far my first choice- significantly higher salary, significantly more senior position, and an incredible opportunity. I’ve received and accepted the formal offer and completed all the required acceptance documents. HR emailed me confirming that the remaining steps are just the standard background check and drug test. Start date is next month.

**Job #3 is definitely the priority and the job I want.** I have no criminal history, don’t do drugs, and have no reason to think there will be any issues with the contingencies.

I’m just trying to understand the best way to handle Job #1. Do I withdraw now (Tues) before I’m supposed to start Monday, or wait until the background check and drug test for Job #3 are officially cleared?

My current plan is to call Job #3 tomorrow, explain that I’m navigating another offer, and ask what the timeline is for completing the contingencies.

I know this is a good problem to have, just curious what others would do.

I was fired from a job about 1.5 years ago. Picked up another in the interim but really hoping to go back to my first field. Somehow it worked out that I had three final round interviews this week.

Job 1: Had an interview Monday AM, then final round Tuesday AM. Was told I would hear from them shortly, haven't heard anything today (been 9 days now).

Job 2 (Rejected): Had been in the interview process since April. They'd ghost for a month, then invite to an interview. Finally had round 4 on Tuesday. They had previously said if I was in this round, it was almost a sure thing, but final interviewer (director) there did say there were a few more candidates still to interview. I just got the rejection today.

Job 3: I was told I was one of 2 finalists, interviewing with a member of the exec team. I interviewed Wednesday AM. I sent a "thank you" and they replied back "nice to meet you too, we'll be in contact". It's now been exactly a week. This is the one I really want but I'm petrified at the radio silence. I'm thinking the worst here- if they wanted me, wouldn't they have sent the offer by now?

It's almost the following Thursday. and not a peep from anyone. I do think this is slipping more and more away from me- each of these (except job 2) were operating with urgency.. We'll see, I guess. I know it's impossible to know, but would love to know thoughts on standard proccedure.

This is kinda a fun story. I (now 25m, then 22) met this girl three years ago at a bar in Austin on vacation. My friend was hitting on her friend mostly, but her and I exchanged Instagrams as we joked about our two friends. We live in different states- about a 1 hour flight away.

I didn't think much of it. She replied to a few of my stories over the next couple years, and I really liked seeing stuff she posted.

Flash forward to Nov 2025. She's in my city. 2 years had past since we met at the bar, but I replied to her story that had my city in it. We exchanged banter... She said she actually was looking for a place to stay, so I offered up my place if she really needed, and could grab a drink first so I can prove to her I'm not just some crazy she met at a bar two years ago. We really hit it off getting that drink. Then we had a nice night the next night. Although she stayed at mine, we didn't actually go all the way- I think she was down but weirdly I just didn't want to make it a one night stand thing. It felt kind of like Before Sunrise in the best way possible!

Anyway, flash forward to now. We haven't talked since then but she recently replied to a story of mine. Now, I've had SO many dating fails. I've literally been on like 70 dates the past two years. I've only met this girl in person like 3 times over 3 years at this point. It could be rose coloured glasses, but I find her really interesting and cool and someone I'd love to learn more about.

Here's the thing. She lives SUPER far away. I mean, it may be kind of delusional. She's a little out of my league- she seems to have a really amazing life, friend group in a big city, etc. I want to make sure that I have all my shit in order to take a swing- ie I'm living at home right now, have career turmoil, etc. I'm also a little inexperienced sexually, so I am always way more relaxed when it's someone I haven't "built up" like this. She also seems waaay more social than me in terms of her life, which is a little intimidating. But if I don't take a real shot, it could be too late.

I guess my question is- what's the move here. I mean, even though we really hit it off, it's more likely she may not feel the same way- she's a super hot girl in a huge city with a ton of options. But I do feel like it's one of those things that I'd rather get some kind of "no" vs. always wonder what could've been and compare others to her. I mean, we did have a really cool, spontaneous weekend last year. What does a shot even look like? I have other friends in her city I could visit, so maybe I go there and just send a message? I don't know. I'd love to just shoot my shot. I know for a fact it'll likely leave me heartbroken but I guess it's better than nothing at all.

I was fired from a job about 1.5 years ago. Picked up another in the interim but really hoping to go back to my first field. Somehow it worked out that I had three final round interviews this week.

Job 1: Had an interview Monday AM, then final round Tuesday AM. Was told I would hear from them shortly, haven't heard anything today (Fri).

Job 2: Have been in the interview process since April. They'd ghost for a month, then invite to an interview. Finally had round 4 on Tuesday. They had previously said if I was in this round, it was almost a sure thing, but final interviewer (director) there did say there were a few more candidates still to interview. They said you should hear from us in the next few days.

Job 3: I was told I was one of 2 finalists, interviewing with a member of the exec team. I interviewed Wednesday AM. I sent a "thank you" and they replied back "nice to meet you too, we'll be in contact".

It's almost Friday afternoon and not a peep from anyone. I do think this is slipping more and more away from me- each of these (except job 2) were operating with urgency.. We'll see, I guess. I know it's impossible to know, but would love to know thoughts on standard proccedure.

I was fired from a great company. Was there for 1.5 years in a marketing role out of school that I loved, then was moved to a more sales/analytics side for 1 year. I was given a few warnings and did not improve/was not a fit in the analytics I was moved to. I had great friends there- it was my first job out of school.

I got a new job right away in the non-profit space. It's been over a year now and I realize it's not stimulating and doesn't have much growth. I took it partly because it was a way to not spend any time unemployed. The gravity of not being able to find a better job / have the benefits of a big org is hitting me.

I feel very guilty as I went to a top-tier business school, am very priviledged, etc and I lost this great opportunity out of school due to laziness. My parents have done everything and more for me, and are so supportive, but I can't have a conversation without this in the back of my head.

I've been applying for jobs the last few months. I got two pretty good interviews, which is promising, but didn't get to additional rounds there and was ultimately still one of like 10-20 interviewed people, likely.

I can't get it out of my head that I got lucky and had such an incredible opportunity and fucked it up due to sheer laziness and lack of motivation in that 2nd sales role.

I'm about to turn 26 and need to move forward with my life, but it's hard to move forward with this massive gap. That feeling that I HAD it... I'd worked hard for it and did it and then blew it. I've been applying consistently, but it just feels like I'm stuck and can't move forward, especially 1) given the confidence shake, 2) given the crappy market, and 3) seeing everyone progress in life while I stall. I feel like I can't do other things (ie gf, moving out, etc) without figuring this out after I blew it so hard. I can't get this out of my head- I had it made and I blew it.