The Invite (2026), sex, love, and individuality in the modern, long-term marriage
My wife and I finally got to check out The Invite the other day and I cannot stop thinking about it. I sincerely believe that The Invite might be the best film about marriage and sex that I’ve seen since maybe Before Midnight. It’s certainly the funniest I think I’ve ever seen about the subject. Some minor spoilers below (though this is not really a spoiler kind of movie) in what ended up being kind of an essay on modern long-term marriages.
For the uninitiated, The Invite is a 2026 comedy/drama starring Seth Rogen, Olivia Wilde, Penélope Cruz, and Edward Norton. A remake of the Spanish film Sentimental (which itself already has four other remakes and is actually an adaptation of a stage play), it’s a chamber-piece about Angela and Joe, a couple whose marriage is on thin ice. Angela is a depressed, anxious stay-at-home mom, and Joe is a miserable, failed musician working as a band teacher. Joe arrives home to find Angela has invited the sexy and mysterious upstairs neighbors, Piña and Hawk, over for dinner, and to show off their recently renovated apartment.
Angela and Joe seem to be at a point in their relationship where every second sentence is a barb, and every kind gesture is misconstrued as a barb. Furthermore, Joe is harboring deep resentments toward their upstairs neighbors for the overly-earnest conversations Hawk likes to try to have with Joe in the elevator, and the riotous sex they sound like they are having every single night. Piña’s loud orgasms are a frequent topic of conversation, and it is clearly reminding both of them of all the sex they aren’t having.
When the neighbors arrive and the drinks and conversations start to flow, it isn’t long before Piña and Hawk reveal that they’re interested in a good deal more than just the soufflé in the oven and a tour of their apartment. It’s at this point everything Joe and Angela haven’t said to each other comes to the surface, and they’re forced to come to terms with what their marriage has become, and what it could become.
The film asks questions of our characters, and by extension it asks questions of us: How do you nurture desire in a long term relationship? How does desire and attraction ebb and flow and what does that mean and how do you adapt with it? Who is responsible for our happiness and how? How do we maintain our individuality and independence while building up a foundation that makes up the best and worst parts of both of us? What becomes of that foundation if we don't nurture our relationship with ourselves or our partner?
When it’s revealed towards the end of the film that Angela and Joe have not had sex in over a year, it’s a puzzle piece falling into place. All the venom, all the animosity; it finally makes sense. But The Invite is clear-eyed enough to emphasize that these individuals don’t just need to get laid, they need to love themselves again. Piña asks Angela, “Would you fuck yourself? Would you have sex with yourself?” Angela can’t even speak. She’s never even considered it. Piña then asks Joe the same. His answer? “All I do is fuck myself. I’m the only person who fucks me, currently.” He can’t even genuinely engage in the question. Instead? A crack about a sexless marriage. Anything to avoid looking inward at the mean-spirited, closed off man he has become. What happens if we don’t nurture ourselves? What happens if we don’t nurture our relationship? gestures
The Invite is incisive about the lies we tell ourselves, the lies we tell each other, and even the ways we present ourselves to the outside world. Piña and Hawk aren’t the perfect couple either. When tensions get too high toward the end, something snaps and we see the façade of the sultry and evocative couple collapse, even if just for a moment. Piña's imperfect English is corrected rudely by Hawk, and combined with his insistence throughout the evening on pushing the foursome proposition despite every red flag Joe and Angela were waving, we see that even they have their moments of marital disharmony. But the way they fight and come back together stands in stark contrast to the collapsing marriage they walked in on.
The proposition for a sexual adventure shared between two couples… swinging, ethical non-monogamy, whatever you want to call it… It’s almost beside the point. You could make the argument that the film presents monogamy as doomed, and ethical non-monogamy as the way, but it’s not so simple. What we’re really seeing is a couple that allows for the possibility of personal and relational expansion (Hawk’s incredible monologue about the origins of his name, his late wife’s fantasy life, and his regret over the way he “shut down her attempt to live more boldly,” is the highlight of the film for me) and a couple that has shut themselves off from each other and any sense of the individual. Angela and Joe have let themselves become smaller, meaner, and less alive.
This, I believe, is the film’s real thesis: A couple does not need to become swingers to keep a relationship fresh and vibrant and expansive, but one might take a few lessons from that relational framework. Being open to knowing and celebrating your partner’s desires, being able to talk about fantasies with love and curiosity, being open to new experiences within consensual boundaries, being unafraid of change within yourself and your partner.
When it’s revealed that Angela would occasionally walk naked past a window that she knew Hawk might see through, Piña reveres her boldness: “Do you know how many women let go of their erotic aspirations for good? Do you know how difficult it is, what she’s doing, that she’s trying to connect with that part that she had lost? Good for you.” The framework here is clear: we must refuse to go slack as individuals, and as couples.
I know this sounds very dour and serious, but I'd be doing this film a great disservice if I didn't mention just how damn funny The Invite is. This goes back to Olivia Wilde’s outstanding sense of comedic timing: in the edit, in the visual frame, and as an actor. There are excellent visual gags, delightful back-and-forths between everyone, and it never lets the tension get to such an unbearable place that it can’t cut through it with a great laugh (Rooibos, anyone?)
The Invite stands up there with some of the best movies about marriage and sex that I've seen in a long time. I think it should be required viewing for just about any couple in a long term relationship. Its perspective on desire and self-worth within relational dynamics is somehow both timeless and of-the-moment (and might explain why it’s gotten FIVE REMAKES in just a few short years, with another on the way). The Invite exposes the raw nerve that many long-term couples learn to avoid touching and dares you to press on it anyway.
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Also would like to say that this was in no way edited or written with AI or LLMs. As a moderator of several large subreddits, the last thing I'd ever want is to contribute to the cesspool of AI-slop that has plagued the internet lately. Spellcheck, wife, and friends helped me re-think a few parts over the course of a few days.
