r/ADHD_Over30

1. I pretend like I've lost control over my body, reduces mental chatter and negotiating myself out of a task (idea courtesy of pornhub)
2. I set alarms for EVERYTHING, I have about 40 alarms a day.
3. I change into my gym outfit before leaving the office so I can get home, dump my bag, grab my shoes and go, not fall victim to the sit pit
4. I tell people I'm doing something and that they should ask me in 2 days to see how it's going, public accountability
5. Same thing as the last one, I post pictures of everything I'm doing on social media
6. None of my meals take longer than 5 mins to put together, and minimal dirty dishes
7. I have 5 pants, 5 shirts, I wear them in rotation, over and over again for 2 years and them replace them w the exact same
8. I have one pair of shoes for non gym stuff, one for gym stuff, one for running, one pair of dressy heels, all in black because they go w everything
9. I only have 7 pairs of socks and would never rewear so forced to do laundry once a week
10. I have a designated spot for every thing in my room and house
11. I went and got a full time job even though I have a startup because a wholly unstructured day where I'm not accountable to anyone was a recipe for disaster, I was working till 3 am, doomscrolling then some, and waking up at 2 pm, it was fucking absurd, being forced to sit at a desk mentally sharp early in the morning made me pull it together, I don't plan on quitting until I have a few employees, at this stage I'm still a solopreneur
12. I listen to a 10 hour loop of David Goggins on Spotify to shame myself out of inaction
13. I don't fold laundry, everything (including t shirts) just goes on hangers, socks and underwear stuffed in a basket, pair of socks stuffed into each other

What are your hacks?

I am grateful that I know I’m autistic and have ADHD. It has explained a lot. It also helps in finding what what is me and what’s the disorder.

I hate it though, the fact that I have to take pills everyday and remember that cause I can see how I don’t perform as well as I can at work. I know when my body needs me to pause. The idea that I need to be medicated to be ordinary fucken sucks and some days I just want to be norma.

I don’t want to remember that every Tuesday I need go refill my pill boxes. I hate that I can’t sleep if I don’t take sleeping meds cause insomnia makes me angry. I don’t want to be the person who needs structure and hates a small change to my routine.

I hate that taking a shower is the hardest part of my day. My little brother wakes up and brushes his teeth everyday and it looks so simple.

I hate that I am hyper active. I went to a work event this week and I kept a low profile cause my social battery was zero. I was bombarded with messages of people asking where I was. I don’t choose to be energetic and the cost of it is so much that I need two days to recover.

My diagnosis has helped a lot I’m in the same company for five years. Before that I couldn’t keep a job for 12 months. I am stable and tackling my fragmented nervous system. I have boundaries that ended few relationships that didn’t help me. I have an investment account and can afford two vacations a year. I have people that love me for me and understand my accommodations.

It still feels like my life needs constant management to be ordinary and I am not ordinary.

I am okay but I hate that I need medication to experience the life I have. It’s beautiful and progressive but it also feels like prison