r/BDDvent

I  have been over weight but I have never been curvy. Bdd made me think if I lost weight I would finally be hot. Lost weigjt... Turns out my body is just not made to be hot bdd didnt dissapear but got worst. I still have tummy but have no ass or hips I feel manly and the cherry on top is that I found out my bf follows 3 channels of the same overweight girl who has huge curves. I feel horrible. I feel I will never be enough. I hate that he lies to me because he cant have those women

i used to put so much effort into my appearance but i can’t even bring myself to do that anymore i feel like im useless as if something is wrong with me , that im broken as a human being bdd has ruined me

I'm having an extremely rough time with BDD and it's gotten to the point where it makes me physically sick to look at myself because I get so fed up and sick of the horrendous flaws I have and even thinking of them makes my stomach turn. Can anyone else who also has BDD and understands the struggle of it and won't make me feel ridiculous for how I feel please listen to me I can't take it anymore

I keep being told I should have no problem in dating and that I’m fairly attractive, but I know they’re lying I just can’t prove it. I’ve had BDD since I was 14 but I feel like my lack of attention in real life supports how I feel about myself. I know rationally I’m not too ugly to date, but I simply cannot imagine anyone loving my face and body. I do pretty well on hinge, receiving 40 matches in the past 5 days but no one has ever shown me any interest in real life. I’m fed up of what I’m being told not matching my actual life experience.

I'm not scared of chronological aging but the physical signs terrify me. It's the shadow of my nasolabial folds, festoons, the pallor of my skin. I guess really the only thing that keeps me going is scientific progress working to reverse aging. Not that I'd be able to afford the treatments but the hope keeps me alive. I never discovered the root of this fear but I think it's just the world I live in. Maybe I'm shallow. Maybe it's the one thing I have. I have nothing else to contribute, so what do I do when it slips away? I can't even keep a job long enough with my bdd. I feel like a bipedal cockroach. I've tried therapy. The therapists can't help me. The meds quiet the thoughts a little. I've tried EMDR, but I don't have trauma, not that I recall. I feel weak because I have no reason to think this way. I even want to look like a tween again even though I'm 26. Maybe it's because how youth is valued. The feeling of having more time before my looks fade. I used to worry still but I felt more carefree. Everyone says I have to accept I will look older eventually. It will happen but I know I won't accept it. Then I guess I can end things on my own terms so I can stay forever young.

No amount of compliments or validation seems to make this go away. I can be told I'm pretty, desirable, attractive, whatever and somehow my brain still thinks "Okay, but what could be fixed?" There's always something that could be better. Something to change, something to improve, some flaw I should somehow overcome.

I think part of the problem is that when I picture a "pretty/beautiful woman" I'm not picturing an average pretty girl. I'm picturing insanely gorgeous women, very polished/plastic-looking women, Adriana Lima, that whole level of beauty. That's become my mental reference point for what beauty is supposed to look like. So even when people tell me I'm attractive, it doesn't really register because I'm comparing myself to an entirely different standard. There's always something that could be improved, something that isn't quite there yet. And I think I have this stupid mindset where if I'm not among the "best-looking" then what's even the point? Being pretty doesn't feel like enough if there's always someone prettier.

I don't even know what being "beautiful" is supposed to mean or feel like anymore. Sometimes it feels impossible for me to see myself that way, no matter what anyone else says.

I don't even know if my perception of beauty is completely unrealistic anymore. Maybe I genuinely need to redefine what beauty means to me, because looksmaxxing, ratings, comparisons and constantly consuming this kind of content has probably fucked with my perception more than I realize. It's exhausting feeling like being pretty is never enough because there's always another level you could supposedly reach. BDD doesn't make it better.

I (M) can’t stop comparing myself online. I saw myself in the mirror after a shower and am spiraling. Everything looks wrong compared to other guys. I’m too short, too wide, not muscular enough, and my 🍆 is too small. I feel so worthless and I’m obsessing about how all these other guys who post online look better than me and will always get more attention.

I hate BDD. I just want my brain to work normally but instead all I do is spend hours comparing myself to guys and p*rn actors.