u/Inevitable_Mango9382

It is hard for me to accept myself specially my body and my life. Through out my life I was verbally abused by my dad (specially because I was overweight as a child) which made me have a terrible relationship with my body and made me also made desitions that havnt led me to the life of my dreams. I want to love myself because I know now that those desitions we're made because of my low self steem. But I know that in order to love I first need to accept everything and stop running away from reality (because I do that a lot).

Todo el mundo me dice eso que mi problema no es mi apariencia sino mi confianza y yo no creo eso para nada, encima de que siento que soy horrible pero sufro de dismofria corporal. Es verdad que alguien con confianza es más atractivo?

I am a girl but it is like a chavinistic man lives inside my head and he objectifies all women around and myself even more. I am an "inverted triangle" and always say to myself things like "i don't look like a woman", "i am a joke", "I don't deserve to behave femenine" and I really am femenine. This has been really hard to bare specially for the last two weeks. Idk what to do. I even talk to myself saying "just leave me alone" like if I was crazy :(

I am addicted :( I don't want to quit but I also know it is taking a tool on my mental and even physicall health.

I had a reflection on this part where Musashi enters Yagu Castle and asks Sekishusai what it means to be "invincible under the sun," and he says, "It's just words." Because of my childhood experiences, I connect a lot with Musashi in the sense of daddy issues haha and needing to be "the best at something." In my case, it's being "the prettiest" to feel protected. A while ago, I went through a very difficult time with my body dysmorphia, and I remembered this part, and it calmed me because saying "being the prettiest" is also just words. I still need the inner work that Musashi does in the manga to understand that beauty, as well as strength, also comes from within, right?