r/BritishMuslims

Hi
This is a little out of my comfort zone, but I thought I’d give this a try.

I’m 22F, practicing Muslim, born and raised in Dubai, North Indian by ethnicity I’m 5’4, a software engineer, and I’d describe myself as emotionally intelligent (I hope lol), self-aware, sensible, practical, considerate of how my actions affect people, I have a bubbly/smiley personality (not self glazing iv been told so many times), I’m very family-oriented, grounded, and try my best to stay aligned with my faith.

Outside of work, I’m pretty active, I run, bake, paint, pilates gym consistently, and watch an unhealthy amount of series/movies <3 I also love matcha ( am I …. turning into a white woman?).

I am going to be very open and outright say that I’ve never been in a relationship before and never really cared for modern dating/hookup culture. For the longest time I was super career-focused and honestly never felt the need for a relationship, but recently that’s shifted a little. I’ve started realizing that marrying young can actually be something really beautiful (my 1-year-ago self would be shocked lol), and I’ve been making a lot of dua for it this Ramadan.

I’m ambitious and still have a lot I want to do in life, buy my Porsche, skydive, travel randomly, all of that I’d say I’m very spontaneous/adventurous and would love a marriage where we genuinely enjoy life together and grow together.
I’m still very much aware of how the world and all this is temporary and we should be working towards Jannah!

I’d prefer someone around 23–27, taller than me (5’7+ ideally, sorry about that! You can have your physical trait preferences too and that’s completely fine!), religious, loyal, kind, emotionally mature, ambitious, funny, and just… a good person with good morals. And to be very honest, it would mean a lot to find someone with a similar background to me in terms of no past/no history/no zina etc., simply because that’s the life I chose for myself too. That being said, I’m absolutely not judging anyone at all, if someone has a past but sincerely changed, grew, and became better, I genuinely respect that.

Also, I’m not saying I’m a perfect Muslim whatsoever, I’m not even hijabi (yet, inshAllah one day), but I try my best, I dress very modestly, I pray 5 times a day without fail, Fast, Zakaat all of that(sometimes Tahajjud if Allah SWT invites me), read the Quran often, and want to keep improving inshAllah.

One thing that’s important to mention: I don’t currently see myself wanting kids right now, maybe later inshAllah. I love babies and I understand the beauty/barakah of it, but at this stage of life I still have a lot I want to do and experience, and I’d love to enjoy life with my husband first before taking on that responsibility emotionally and financially.

I’m not looking for anything inappropriate, just a halal way of getting to know someone naturally, I refuse to use any apps and would hate being setup. Unfortunately my guy can’t magically come knocking on my door as I hoped, but I still believe good things exist :)

If you feel like we’d align, feel free to reach out respectfully.

May Allah guide us all to what’s best for us 🤍

Edit: I am NOT desperate like that, infact in this generation if you want to get a bf/gf it’s so easy, many guys have tried but I didn’t see them as a potential husband so I had to politely turn them all down, it’s not the lack of options but the lack of right options and that’s why I’m here, and I mean this in the most humble non-arrogant way ifykyk

I genuinely prefer modest/hijabi women when it comes to seeking marriage, but I can’t lie the ones i meet and talk to with fillers, enhancements or perfect makeup etc while still carrying themselves modestly are 100% my type. That mix of elegant in public but clearly knowing they attract me is dangerous.

What surprised me after dating/talking to a few potentials in London though is how different some of them were privately compared to how people assume they are publicly. A few admitted they actually liked the contrast and hated always being put into the “innocent good girl” box. In conversations they lean more to wanting to feel desired differently and explore a side of themselves people would never expect just from looking at them.

Women, especially hijabi women, do you feel misunderstood in that sense?

As the title says!
Im a 30F professional who has been looking for a match for the past 2 years but for different reasons i haven’t been lucky, usually i was using the dating apps ( due to busy work schedule as a doctor) which are terrible and it seems like no body is serious !!

Would it be against the rules to look for someone here?😅😁

I’m from London originally but living in the Middle East now and I’ve noticed i usually do get eye contact from women I find very attractive, usually modest hijabis. They’re covered up properly but still at the gym wear leggings with long tops/jackets etc and now that it’s hot eve try ones more casual and now when they see me I’ll get the occasional salams.

I’m not super conservative myself but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to flirt or speak to some of them. Most the time I notice this at the gym or food shopping in the mall and it’s always awkward because there’s too many people around so it’s not exactly easy to just talk naturally like back home in London.

Question for the women mainly if you’re giving a guy eye contact/smiling like this, how would you actually want him to approach you without making it weird?

I usually comment on these topics and get a lot of responses from women in this community, and I’m often surprised by how some describe their marriages and husbands. It’s made me think about it more and want to get different opinions.

On a personal level, I tend to be drawn to more modest presenting hijabi women which is part of why I find these conversations interesting

A lot of the issues that come up seem to be around family involvement, in-laws, and expectations in marriage. I’m trying to understand if this is more cultural or something more general in Muslim marriages.

& myself I’m Somali born and raised in the UK but currently in Middle East and I’ve lived there for a period of time, so I’ve seen a bit from both sides. A lot of the experiences I hear tend to be from Asian backgrounds, but I’m open to understanding the differences rather than assuming anything.

Just curious what others think about it.

I come here in peace. I am not a Muslim, but I am interested in this subject from a geopolitical angle. I have been to the UK too and from a few times over the years, I don't see what these right wing influencers are claiming on social media. I have seen mostly clean streets and Muslims getting along with native Brits just fine.

Europe has been in divides both before and after WW2. I am knowledgeable to Islam to some extent. I know that unlike Christianity and Judaism, Islam offers both a theological and political system in one package; but you can have Islam in a secular society.

Islam's monotheism you think can unify Europe socially? I know we're not seeing it now, but the next two or three generations could likely produce this outcome? I don't know why Christianity fell apart in Europe unfortunately it hasn't fallen in the United States lol. The US has adopted a right wing Christian evangelicalism that would make most European faint.

Hiya, I am looking for recommendations for quizzes in London that are not in a pub.

Quite a few people at my work are Muslim and don’t drink/ are not comfortable in pubs. I want to plan a quiz social but am struggling to find any that are not hosted in pubs and fit within a budget of ~£10 per person. I work around Victoria but am happy to transit any where central esque.

I was wondering if anyone had recommendations. I have looked and struggled a lot but was thinking like a quiz in a cinema, restaurant, etc. Anything others have been to would be helpful!

I am aware of the different cuisines but apart from that they seem very similar in terms of culture.