r/Buttcoin

Do you know any other group of "investors" that have that type of slogan where they basically want to mock you for NOT buying what they bought?

Did he? Did he not?

What does this mean? Was it designed to be understood by few elites to run the ponzi scheme?

You all remember this one, but it's aged like fine schadenfreude.

Alex Mashinsky ran Celsius, a crypto "bank" whose actual slogan was "Unbank Yourself." Every week he'd go live in a t-shirt telling people the banks were robbing them and they should park their crypto with him instead, where it was 'his words' safer than a bank. The reward for this safety was up to 17% interest, which as we all know is a totally normal and sustainable thing for a "savings account" to pay.

To fund those yields, Celsius took the deposits everyone thought were safe and shoveled them into risky bets and DeFi degeneracy. Meanwhile Mashinsky told everyone he was "HODLing" the company's CEL token right alongside them, while quietly selling $48 million of it at propped-up prices. We're all in this together, etc.

Then in June 2022, when Terra took the whole sector down, Celsius froze withdrawals. Over a million people locked out overnight, $4.7 billion gone, straight into bankruptcy. His wife started selling t-shirts that said "Unbankrupt Yourself," which is honestly the most self-aware thing anyone in this story ever did.

This past May he got 12 years and has to forfeit the $48M, no appeal. Turns out the boring, "obsolete" bank he told everyone to abandon has this quaint feature called deposit insurance, plus a rule or two about not lying to depositors. Safer than a bank, indeed.

This is what I can't believe when I watch coffeezilla vids about Celsius giving 10%. Or STRC offering 11.5%.

The most boring investment ETFs or indexes that anyone can access are offering 10% a year.

MSCI world index is averaging 12% a year.

S&P500 has beat bitcoin over the last 5 years.

And ofc past success does not guarantee future success, but we have decades of data on this.

Historically ETFs and index funds gain 10% a year.

Historically crypto ponzis go to 0.